Of all the Frakkin......

I know we’ve all been there..right? You get ready to work out….you put on the right clothes, socks, shoes, etc. You muster up the gumption of getting your butt into gear because you really don’t like to exercise (you do after you get into it, but we all know the first 5 minutes are hell) and there are a million other things you could do instead (check email, Facebook, update blog, eat…eat…eat) but you’re on a mission. You know summer is coming and you want to get into those original Board Skirts (made in California) that you purchased in a size ? for incentive….



Ah, there I am…looking HOT, wearing my board skirt…all the guys are looking my way, got my Vans and Wayfarers on…Hellooooo Diz. OMG, it’s Dwayne “ The Rock” Johnson, looking like the ultimate meat popsicle eye candy that he is…and he wants ME!!! Can this dream get any better??? Late night dinner, licking desert off his rock hard chiseled body, mind-blowing sex for the next 48 hours…oh wait…I am dreaming and I digress…

Ok, where was I??? Oh yea, working out. So you finally get your sorry butt out on your StairMaster, crank up the tunes and yea…YOU ARE IN THE ZONE! Muscles are flowing, legs are pumping, heart rate is good, the tunes are rockin’ and helping you keep your steps rhythmic. And then….your iPod craps out and you’re only 6 minutes into the routine. You still have another 34 minutes to go with NO MUSIC!!! Can there be a greater hell? My eyes glance to my board skirts, hanging where they’ll provide the most inspiration. Alright, you frakking MFers, INSPIRE ME, my mind screams. And, like manna from heaven, they do! They transport me to the Dean Roland dream (Dean Roland of Collective Soul???..Picture below…) where he’s licking desert off of my body, etc., but first he has to strip off the awesome board skirts that I can fit into…wait, it’s easy for him because THEY’RE TOO BIG! And before you know it…the exercise is over, and I can go back to cursing my iPod for crapping out on me.



To give my iPod it’s due…I’ve had it since 03, and it was a matter of time before the battery finally crapped out on me. It doesn’t hold a charge anymore. So I have to figure out how to replace the battery, or…get a new iPod. My dilemma?? I’ve been waiting 2 years for an iPhone with at least 32 gigs, and with Apple’s announcement yesterday of the new OS3 for iPhone/iTouch and the new options and apps, I know it’s coming…and gonna cost me a pretty penny. With the economy being the way it is, I can’t afford to do both. Shhhhhhh..don’t tell the man, but I’ve snagged his for now and as long as he doesn’t figure it out…I’ll use that one. Teehee.