Answering the Hard Questions

There are parts of this single life that sucks.  One of them is knowing when to introduce your guy to the family and most importantly, your niece.

September of 2013...my guy wants to visit the same weekend as my Niece's birthday.  I'm hesitant.  He senses that and says "You don't want me to meet your family?" As if I'm the one hiding him and keeping him a secret (turned out to be the other way around).  So I agree to it, and he fucking nails it. By the time the birthday evening is over, my 11 year old Niece is in love with him, her slumber party GFs think he's amazing and my Mother wants to know where she can find one like him.

Cut to a year and a half later.  My Niece texts me tonight and asks if I've seen "J" lately.  "No Baby, Not lately." "Are you and "J" on or...."  "Who knows my Beanie.  I think we're just gonna be good friends." She replies with quite the grown up answer...."That's better than trying to make things work and ending up mad at each other forever."  When did she get so wise???  I replied "If you truly love someone, sometimes you just have to let things roll.  Don't worry about this kind of stuff, ok?"  She replies "Okay, I just want you to be happy."  I replied "Don't worry Baby. You make me happy!  I just don't want you to be sad."  She replied "Okay! I love you."

When did she grow up to be so wise?  What hurts me the most is that she really loves him and it not working out between us hurts her. I have to be more careful in the future.  I cannot risk her heart being broken.  My heart is mine to do with what I will and if I take the risk, it's on me.  But to hurt hers due to my selfishness.  I can't bear the thought that I exposed her to that, and I feel such guilt over it.

Another lesson learned...the hard way.