What Do You Do?

When modern medicine only prolongs someones agony and doesn't allow them to die peacefully? Mom needs to go home. She's not happy here. She doesn't sleep at night, moans, groans, talks incoherently and pulls at everything. What I feared is coming to pass.

I've already managed to piss her off, and now she says that she never imagined that I could be so sneaky. She had a death grip on both of my hands and was begging me for water. I had to losen her hands so I could pour fresh cold water from the pitcher into the cup. As I'm losening her hands she's fighting me saying that I'm going to leave. I assure her I'm not...but it becomes a struggle. Do I losen her hands and ignore the water plea? Water wins out as it's so vital for her, but prying her hands lose has pissed her off. And so it goes, all night long.

For the second nite in a row, they want to give her Ambien to sleep when the doctor clearly said that it wasn't good for her age and condition. The first night he admitted he forgot to change the order. What's the excuse for the second nite? I don't know. I'm thankful that I did a stint as a CNA as it's helped me to turn her in bed and change sheets, etc. All the old tricks come back. But I gotta tell ya 6 days have taken it's toll on me. 5 of those nights have been mine, only one of the five shared. I bit the head off the lady at the card store when I purchased fathers day cards the Dad and Norm. Part of it was stress and the other resentment that I was doing this and no one from his side of the family...including him, wished me a happy mothers day. I gotta suck it up and get over it, but with all the events of the past 7 months, it's been hard to do.

Back to work... Mom's trying to escape from her gown, yet again.
Sent from Diz's iPhone