BEEN A LONG TIME....

I know it’s been awhile since the last time I posted. The only excuse I can use is that “life got in the way”. Been scrambling to get a home loan to complete the repairs/remodel needed on the CH house.  I finally get one through Paramount Equity and the home appraises much lower than expected.  What does this mean for me?  Well, the add-on to the house may have to wait (I was going to extend the great room into the carport), but I can do everything else inside the house, so I should be ok.  What I figure I can do is go ahead and renovate what I have, put the new solar on the roof, then have the house re-appraised and get a re-finance at a bigger amount and then get the room done.  My contractor says in his opinion, we haven’t seen the end of the housing crash and thinks that interest rates will dip even lower this summer/fall, so I could possibly beat my current interest rate of 4.75%. 
 
In the meantime, I’m going to have a huge sheet-rock, interior gutting party and supply pizza and beer.  I’ve already got some great buddies lined up to assist, so I’m psyched about that, and that will save me a huge amount of money to put toward the remodel.  What would I do without friends?
 
The cool thing is the Soon-to-be-Ex and I are getting along. He’s been helping me out as far as the loan stuff, meeting with the appraiser and getting his share of the divorce paperwork done.  He’s not happy about it, but he is being chill. The only thing that bothers me is that he’s still refusing to take responsibility for his part in this.  He knows that he bears it, but when he speaks, it’s always something else.  In his words, he “married an independent woman so this is part of the outcome”.  I corrected him and said that I’m not divorcing him because I’m independent.  I wanted to be an independent married woman. I’m divorcing him because I finally drew a hard line in the sand and he crossed it. My fear is that even this life-altering event will not stop his addiction and it will be hard to watch him deteriorate…even from a distance. I’m not divorcing him because I don’t love him anymore…I do still love him.  I’m divorcing him because the decisions he makes while under the influence of alcohol impact my life and future, and I can’t let him do that anymore.
 
On the upbeat, my having to stress my independence has given me confidence.  I’m still scared, but it’s the healthy scared..not the paralyzed scared I was feeling last summer.  A person never really knows what they’re capable of until they have to face their demons.  That whole “fight or flight” thing kicks in.  Well Ladies and Gentlemen….if I’m going down…I’m going down fighting, and I’m taking chunks out of my opponent as I go!