Therapy

I’ve probably written about this before, but I write letters I’m never gonna send.  I do it for therapy. You’ve already read about my passion for writing letters (the right pen, the ink flow on the paper, etc), and although I blog…writing is the ultimate satisfaction.

I’ve been doing a lot of writing lately.  I’ve been releasing my angst to paper in the hopes that it’ll purge the ill feelings and anger that I have.  Don’t get me wrong people, I’m doing pretty well, and I think it’s because of the writing that I’m doing ok.  But sometimes, when it’s really late, I’m lying in bed and I can’t shut the turning wheels down…I have to get it out before it consumes me.   I write out all the little details…I call the recipient of my fury all kinds of horrible 4 letter names…Ok, some of them are 6 and 8 letters…and if I’m feeling a little hoity toity..could be more! I write all the things I would say if that person were standing in front of me. 

Don’t get me wrong people….just because I don’t send the letters, doesn’t mean that the idiot doesn’t deserve them or that I wouldn’t say those things face-to-face.  I would.  It’s because I can’t say them face-to-face that it all comes out on the paper.  In some instances, logistics is the reason behind not personally delivering the message.  In other instances, it isn’t prudent…or the right time to say the things I need to say…so it’s a waiting game.  And in order to keep my patience, I write.

Writing gives me peace. Ok, it may be a temporary peace, but I'll take it. My serenity swings back and forth like a pendulum. But I will say this....

It's so nice to feel wanted. Yes, I'm writing as therapy...but a couple of gentlemen are also giving me some therapy.  I don't know what the future holds or where it will take me...but it is nice to be wanted.