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How do you know when to walk away? How do you know when to let your head do the talking and tell your heart to shut the fuck up?
I don't know Peeps. I'm so conflicted right now, and it really isn't the time for me to be this way. There are things I need to buckle down on, things I need to concentrate on. There are things I need to say goodbye to and let go, and other things that I need to hold tight to.
I'm tired, I'm alone and tonight....I'm feeling sorry for myself. It doesn't help that I may have busted my nose. Yeah, it wasn't pretty, but I heard a crack and had blood gushing out of the inside and outside of my nose.
It doesn't help that my ex-husband has found someone and he's going to AA for her...but could never do that for me. Don't get me wrong...any woman that can get him out of his addiction is ok in my book, and I will accept her no matter what. But why couldn't he do that for me?
It doesn't help that my ex-boyfriend got married last weekend and is starting a new chapter in his life. Yes, I'm happy for him...but I've always felt one of the main reasons he was with me was to get back to California, but still...it hurts a little.
It doesn't help that I feel like an "after-thought" in some people's lives due to their unwillingness to communicate with me.
It doesn't help that one man in my life seems to think that I want something more serious in my life like a committed relationship, but doesn't realize that "Hey...I'm your out of state friend...don't you think there's a reason for that?" He asks me why I didn't stay at his house with him, and I said "you didn't ask me". His response... "I didn't think I needed to." Really??? So if I assume that I'm supposed to be staying with you, doesn't that mean that I think there's more to our friendship...that I want more" But me not assuming that means to you that I want more than you're willing to give? Dude...I don't know what the fuck I want....and you're assuming I want more??? Actually, I do know what I want, but I can't have it. And it really has nothing to do with you.
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