Good News???

Well, I was thinking that this whole divorce thing was going to get out of hand after the phone call I received last weekend from the man, stating that he changed his mind on the property due to Dad.  However, after meeting yesterday, not only is the property hashed out, but he agreed to everything on my list.  Was totally reasonable about the whole thing!!!  I'm not sure where the change of heart came from…I can only be thankful that it'll be ok.

 

So now the goal is to have the papers filed this month and move on with it before anything else pollutes the issue.  I know it's sucky of me to file for divorce in our anniversary month, and by the rate it's going, close to our anniversary date, but I think it's important just to have it done and over with. I hope I'm forgiven in the future and if things go along this smoothly, I may be.

 

More good News!!!

 

I'm picking up my niece Serene for the weekend.  Yes, Serenie Beanie, aka Beanster is mine for two days.  I ask her what she wants for dinner those two nights and her answer is "Shrimp and TV Dinner" (she is 8 years old).  I ask her why TV Dinner, that I would be happy to cook for her and she thinks about it and changes her mind to "Ribs".  She also reminded me to not forget the "cocktail sauce".  So I'll pick her up tonight and we'll do shrimp first, along with a "make our own baked potato" entrée.  I don't know about you, but I love creating the ultimate baked potato.  The last one I made was a spin on the "Cobb Salad" so I stacked my baked potato with blue cheese crumbles, bacon crumbles, hardboiled egg, tomato, avocado, fresh minced garlic and green onions!  Yes, the angels sang as I bit into that little slice of heaven!  I'm interested in seeing what the Beanster's choices will be for her potato toppings. Chilli? Cheese? We shall see and I'll report back.

 

Yes, this blog update is a yippie skippie one, so if you were looking for doom and gloom or political diatribe…sorry to disappoint ya! NOT!

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“Oh I’m newly Calibrated…all Shiny and Clean”

Weird, but I'm feeling a lot like that song quote above.  The bank came through yesterday and gave me back the $1,000 that was missing.  Woohoo…breathing room! I finally got a full night of sleep, after cleaning the kitchen and mopping the floor, including the entry way.  I think I know how to proceed on this divorce thing, so I feel relieved about that.  I made plans for 4th of July and a week in Mexico for Thanksgiving next year with some special friends.  I'm feeling like everything will be ok. Yes, I know that I'll come down from this vacation euphoria and that I'll get gobsmacked with bad days, but for now I'm blowing sunshine out my…well, you know.

 

On tap for the weekend, raking in the yard, vacuuming the house, getting in a couple of hours of bedroom cleaning,  some laundry, but most important…hanging with friends!!!  Tonight I'm getting together with Kel and Vicster…they're always a blast. Sunday I'm getting together with Timmaaayyy and his wife Vicki.  How blessed can I be to have great friends to spend time with?  With a little luck, I can get the Beanster next weekend and all will be right with my little world.

 

Next question on the list…What to do for Thanksgiving?  My Mom has Thanksgiving invitations, so that is good.  I'm thinking about blowing off Thanksgiving this year, getting in the truck and just driving.  Where?  Don't know.  I love to cook and stuff, but the thought of it not quite being the same is a little daunting. There's always friends to spend it with, which is extremely cool, but I just don't know.  Any suggestions out there? 

 

Also thinking about the possibilities of the CH house I'll be living in next year.  What do I want to do with it?  What kind of renovation?  I'm thinking that I want to enclose the yard and make a courtyard out of it for entertaining friends, and myself.  Plus, JazzyKat will feel safer about lounging in the yard if it's enclosed.  I'm thinking an outdoor firepit, a new grill, lights in the trees, etc.  How much will that cost?  If I enclose the Carport and expand the house a bit, and redo the inside, how much will that cost? I have a friend that will do my floors for me…so I feel good about that.  How much will it cost to put of a 3-4 foot wall around the property?  It won't need to go all the way around, just on the two facing roads.  How much can I do myself? How much will I save doing it?  Where do I find all this information and read up on it?  Why am I asking questions like a two-year old?

 

Ah well.  We shall see what the future will bring.

Sent from Diz's iPhone

Are you ready for the next Revolution?

 I'm back from Cabo. Although I didn't get down time Saturday nite and Sunday morning, the rest of Sunday was mine!  I should've done more with it than I did, but that's ok.  I discovered Sunday that my ATM was used fraudulently in Mexico and that I needed to cancel it, which I did.  Monday was spent going to the bank, turning in the old card and ordering a new one.  I also visited Jen…Ya'll know Jen.  She owns the nails I wear on my fingers.  I think I did her proud cuz they were still on after a month of no "Jen Care"…unlike Obama Care, Jen Care actually works! I also dropped off the radio that I borrowed from Rog and Kel. They totally spoiled us on the trip…actually all of our guests totally spoiled us on the trip.  I am blessed with great friends!

 

Tuesday found me back at work dear blog readers!  Damn the bad luck, but I actually had a tough time getting my sorry tushie out of bed!  It was a productive day, but I found out that two of the charges to my account actually went through and I'm a thousand dollars short.  Dizzy was not a happy camper, but I actually took the news quite well..I think the vacation paid off. I headed down to my bank and filled out the fraud paperwork.  The bad news is that it may take 10 business days to resolve, which is not good for Dizzy.  After the 18 months of furlough and exhausting my savings, I don't have a lot of disposable cash to fall back on…add being in Cabo for 30 days and there may be some tough times ahead. Ah well, "And this too shall pass". 

 

Note…diatribe coming……

 

I did take the time to "Rock My Vote" but I gotta tell ya, I'm sick of living in such a damned liberal state. The majority of California voters never read what the hell they're voting in.  They also never treat the voter ballot like a check book.  Does California have money for this proposition…No?  Guess I can't vote for it.  They think California is going to start growing Money Trees or something.  How come they never equate the CA checkbook to their own situation.  Gee, I'd really love to have that iPad, but I've maxed out all of my credit cards and I only have $100 to spend on food and gas for the rest of the month.  Unless the money tree out back starts sprouting, guess I have to pass!!!  I also cannot stomach voting for the lesser of two evils.  Why can't I vote for a qualified candidate and feel comfortable that no matter which way the vote goes, a reasonable person will take over the helm.  I may not agree with their agenda, but I can feel comfortable that they'll pass the budget, keep the legislature in line and put California before any special interests or big corporations.  In California…NEVER GONNA HAPPEN!  I think I'm gonna have to move my fiscally conservative butt to Montana, hunker down on a plot of land and defend it with my right to own arms.  Too bad I'm unable to retire anytime soon…darn it.

 

Until the next blog…..

Sent from Diz's iPhone

Reflections on the last day....

All in all, it's been a great vacation. It was nice to not check my work email ONCE! Many friends harbored serious doubts as to whether or not I could do it, but it was all about self-preservation folks. And ultimately, my sanity is not going down for any job.

Yesterday, we spent the day in Cabo San Lucas and had a fabulous time. We shopped (well, the girls shopped..Niecey and Chris can shop circles around me since I'm half man) we drank cheap happy hour beer, margaritas and pina coladas. We won a contest at the Mango Beach Bar. It was a "name the movie" contest based on the music the played. Yes peeps, since I love music so much I managed to quarterback our team to victory. I managed to get the two obscure ones, i.e. Mr. & Mrs. Smith, and The Fifth Element. WooHoo!!!

I finally plunked down the money for my Cabo hat (too expensive) and bought a silver circlet for my neck. Didn't do too much on the trinket purchase though. It was a good day. We came back and took some fish up to Sardina Cantina and they prepared it 5 different ways for 3 different kinds of fish. Everyone was in belly heaven.

After the dinner though, Niecey noted that it was interesing how I'd finally let my defenses down and be nice to "The Man", and he would take the gesture and run with it and suddenly we're a couple. He was even talking to the people we met at the Cantina about how "we'd be there next year", and "Babe and I do this" and "Babe does that", etc. Pretending that everything was going to stay the same. She noted how if I just give him a little bit of rope, suddenly it's as if the separation never happened. Going back to the real world is really going to hurt him. I, on the other hand, never left the real world. I've been separated the whole time we've been here. The pillow has always been in the middle of the bed and there's no crossing the boundaries. This is going to be one fucked up year Ladies and Gentlemen. I actually feel good though. I feel ready. I feel that I'm doing a good job preparing and that I'll be ok.

It also doesn't hurt that my confidence meter went up a couple of notches with the bit of attention I've received thanks to the Military Ranger tool and Earnesto (no, he's not hispanic, he's from Washington). Plus, my light flirtation with my Iowa Boy, always keeps myt spirit up. He's such a godsend!

Now, we have to print out our boarding passes, pack up and be ready to hit the road in the morning. I'm sorry to see the time pass so quickly, but I look forward to change. Change in the weather, change in my residence, change in my work, change in my soul.

Word of warning peeps...The blog will take a decided turn towards the events of divorce. If you're not interested, or if you don't want to know because you're close to the man, then you've been warned. Yes, with the coming elections and the nature of the national mood, I will still be ranting and railing about the injustices I perceive as a means of dealing with it all, but I have the feeling that I'll be leaching poison most often.

Here's hoping that this blog finds you all well, healthy and happy...or at least getting even!

Wednesday...October ???

WOW!!! It's been so busy! Sorry I haven't kept up with the blogging. With the three couples together and doing stuff, it seems like there isn't time. So far we've had a blast!

Lots of poolside time, relaxation, cooking. There's so much food in the fridge (we are blessed) that we'll have to give it away before we go.

We tooled around San Jose del Cabo yesterday and checked out the shops, drank tequila, and ended up at Shooter's once again for happy hour. Hey, if it works, gotta roll with it. We girls started our own drama, i.e. Days of our Lives in Cabo. Some 22 year old boy had a crush on my friend and was hitting on her. Of course, he would have an ex-girlfriend working at the place and she wasn't happy. Turns out the boy is a "playa, at a tender age"....of course us girls are just a bunch of homewreaking Cougars! Ah well.

I met a really cute, nice man who lives in Washington. Although I know nothing will come of it, it was nice to be found attractive, be flirted with, and have someone pursue me. He had gone fishing and ended up giving us some dorado that he caught, so we cooked it up with a spicy seafood recipe. And he have me his card, so I guess he was really interested. Yes, he knows the situation, because I was extremely upfront about it. Goodness knows, I have enough work on my hands before all of this mess is through, but I didn't want him thinking that I was just being a bitch. Best he knows what he's dealing with upfront...right?

Anyway, the girls are back from exercising, so I'm heading up to chat with Denise. Yes, I blew off exercising yet again. After pulling my back leg muscle a couple of days ago, I'm just now flexable enough to stop limping, but crap! This is one thing I hate about getting older! I'm not as limber as I should be.

Until the next blog...

Cabo Time - October 23rd

Well, my friend Denise's plane has just landed, so I'll go down to the lobby in about a half hour to greet her. I'm looking forward to their visit because it releases stress from being around the man. Although to be fair, he's been ok the last two days, but he drinks beer like it's mother's milk.

We'll kill some time around the beach until the condo is cleaned, then come back and do some cooking and some drinking. Since my friend Chris and her husband won't be here till sometime between 8 and 9 p.m. we'll have to hold off dinner. We're making bacon wrapped tuna in teriyaki and bbq sauce (Thanks Rog), cilantro infused mashed potatoes and salad. Of course, there's the awesome salsa and chips that seems to go with everything these days.

Now, I must make another committment to watch my cool, and to watch what I say. Certain things can not slip past my lips in front of the man. No, I've done nothing to be ashamed of or anything, but I don't need to rub salt in the wound either. We're separated, we're divorcing and nothing is changing that. Our lives are separate now and need to stay that way. If it wasn't for my stupid decision about this vacation, we'd still be apart. Vacation doesn't make a difference.

The maid just brought in a whole new mattress for my friends staying in the room with the two single beds. Now they'll have a king size bed to sleep on also. They are the greatest here. I love WorldMark! Not too hoity toity, clean, comfortable. I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm glad I bought into timeshare. It wasn't what I wanted to do, but the man talked me into it, so we started out small, i.e. a week every two years. We ended up purchasing two weeks a year and it was paid for, then we heard Wyndham was purchasing Trendwest, so I'm not paying for two more weeks. That's why I'll end up with three weeks in the divorce, the man get's half of what is paid off, which is one week. Since I continue to pay for the additional weeks, they're mine.

Ah well, I know I sound callous and everything, but I do it for self-preservation purposes. For the longest time I never made plans that we would be apart, although I should have. Now that I'm actually doing it, it's real and there's no going back. I notice the man doesn't talk about it, so it isn't real to him. I tried on so many occasions to tell him this was coming, but he wouldn't listen. I even told him the signs he should be looking for. Still didn't listen. Now that it's here, he avoids the subject like the plague, unless I force the issue.

Ok, enough of that, One more week in Cabo, and I'd better make it good! Smooches my friends.

One of those nights....

It's one of those nights where I'm alone with my thoughts and there's no alcohol to quiet the voices inside my head. NO...not the crazy voices, the other ones!

Our guests have gone home and we're waiting for the newest arrivals...on Saturday. And I realize how incredibly lonely I am. Yes, I've made my choices and I don't regret them, but I hate the loneliness of my choice. It's too quiet, and I don't have my kitties to cuddle with.

I can hear the Karaoke going on down in the restaurant, the crash of the waves, see the moonlight over the water and I know that I desperately want someone to hold my hand, and take me down to the water and kick the sand around. I want to dance under the moonlight and be that one special person, even for a moment, to the person that is holding me.

It was fun watching my friends Rog and Kell, cuz you could see magic in the way that they relate to one another. You know, when you look at Rog, that there isn't anything he wouldn't do for his Lady, and that she comes first. If you don't have that kind of relationship, when you see it, you're a little jealous, cuz you have proof that it exists and you know that you don't have it yourself.

Love isn't perfect...I know that. But when you are in the presence of it, you know when it's true. I don't know that I'll ever have that. What I have to be careful of is what I substitute for it.

I'm not a drug girl, but I do love tequila. Right now, I'm keeping that in check and have been pretty good on this trip. I don't want it to be food, because I've been battling that substitution for years, and with help, finally got a grip on it (for now). I'm thinking it's gonna be sex that I'm gonna have to be careful of. Sex and partners. For now, I'm fine, but what's it gonna be in 6 months? Am I the type of person that will have lots of sex with lots of partners so I won't be lonely? Hmmm...food for thought.

In the meantime, it'll be work. I have 3 projects going on that I'm gonna need to focus on. A divorce I need to complete, a home I need to build and a life I need to live. Thank God for good friends!