More Stuff....

I’m kind of off kilter with everything that’s been going on.  A Virgo trait is to control the things around them and although I’ve learned to let go of a lot of things this past year, the one thing I can usually control is work. Why do you think IT Project Management suits me so well?  I can control the project schedule and my schedule at the same time.  When a wrench is thrown into the works, it messes up my equilibrium and in turn pushes me to control my private life, which is really where I need to let the control go out the window. So my frustration is the internal war going on to let control go at home and ride out this mess at work and get control of it. Now, compound this with the whole Illuminati crap, and you can see that Dizzy is in a mental tailspin. 

For those of you unfamiliar with the Illuminati, it was a movement founded on May 1, 1776 (the Marine Corps is a year older) in Bavaria as the ‘Order of the Illuminati. It was made up of freethinkers as an offshoot of the Enlightenment and was said to be modeled on the Freemasons. The Illuminati members took a vow of secrecy and pledge obedience to their superiors. 

The goals of the Illuminati included trying to eliminate superstition, prejudice, and the Roman Catholic Church’s domination over government, philosophy, and science; trying to reduce oppressive state abuses of power, and trying to support the education and treatment of women as intellectual equals.

I messaged my sister yesterday, so I got the Beanster for the weekend. This might not be a bad thing (although I really wanted to spend Cinco de Mayo with my Girlie) because I still need to get started on packing for the trip, etc. and getting the house in order. It just bothers me that my niece is so affected by my sisters ranting about the Devil and the Illuminati.  Really….REALLY???  Why can she not see how her daughter is taking all this?  Oh, that’s right….the world has always revolved around my sister…Damn, I forgot!  I hate being the family Matriarch.  It’s exceedingly stressful, and something I really don’t need right now with the project stuff.  Dizzy’s control issues are coming into play.  Ah well….nothing a bottle of tequila and a straight razor can’t handle.

However, yesterday evening I got more texts from my Niece imploring me to be her mother and that she hates her mother (my sister).  She wrote it over 30 times.  She says her Mother hit her in the face when she said she already took a shower, and feels that she’s going to be hurt in the next couple of days.  I don’t know how to take all of this, because I know my niece is highly emotional right now, and she’s a pre-teen.  I have the feeling that both are at fault, and we already know that my sister has no idea how to raise a child that age…she’s never done it!  While there is no way I’d ever sit on the sidelines and let my niece be abused by my sister, I do have to be calm, reasonable and hear both sides of the story. So I must be patient.

On a funny note….I think I may have told you that I adopted my Son (Nephew).  He refers to me as “Mom” and to my sister as “Mother”.  He was having a conversation with one of his friends and had referred to both of us in the discussion.  The friend asked about our Gay Marriage, and my Son was confused.  He asked “What do you mean?” The friend said, “Well, your Mother and your Mom live in California, right?” “They have Gay Marriage in California, right?”  My Kid busts out laughing and said “NO, they’re sisters…there’s no way they’d ever be married and they don’t even get along!”  I started laughing over this one when he told me.  Seems we must all be Gay here in California!  Wait a sec…I was gonna take back ownership of the term Gay…. I meant Homosexual/Lesbian in California…..

Thank God I have music!  I just cannot fathom a life without music and singing. It is the one thing that soothes my soul, gets me past the rough edges of my life and puts things into perspective. Yes, Peeps…even more than tequila.  If I had to choose between the two, my choice would always be music.   I may not be the world’s greatest singer, but something about throwing back my head and letting a tune rip is intensely satisfying.  And ya’ll know there’s a song for every occasion!

Made plans to meet up with my old flame RD for lunch again this Friday (since I’m not going out of town…) and I’m looking forward to it.  We had a great time last time, but we just had so much to catch up on and not enough time due to my conference call and everything.  He just celebrated his wedding anniversary and posted the sweetest note to his wife on FB.  I’m hoping he doesn’t drop anymore bomb shells on me about how mean I was to men back then.  Holy Crap….I had a couple of weeks of serious introspection after our last lunch. Who knows what’s gonna happen next.

I love that I can get together with old friends or old love interests and have candid honest conversations.  Too many times we let people slip through our fingers that can give us some insight to our inner core. Are we afraid of what we’ll hear about ourselves? Are we afraid to give honest feedback to them? I think I’m much better off having those kinds of friends in my life than smoke blowers, or not having them at all. 

It's another breezy warm evening. The NorCal weather is stunning, albeit tough on allergy sufferers.  I am, yet again, enjoying the awesome feel of the wind caressing my skin. After I post the blog, I'll be putting together some of the clothes I'll be taking on my trip and making some lists for what I need.  I just have to get through tomorrow, and the weekend will be here for me.  I can't wait!