Coming Up For Air

Wow.  I've been so busy I just haven't had a chance to update the blog.  So sorry my friends. Shall we start from Thursday night?

THURSDAY

I went out to dinner with my buddy JP.  He started with the department at the same time that I did, so I've known him for awhile.  We decided on Bucca di Beppo's and I ate all the stuff he hates!  Since I had a salad for lunch, I ate appetizers for dinner.  They had a 3 appetizer plate with stuffed mushrooms, calamari (the kind with the legs on them) and mozzarella sticks.  YUM!  I had fun waving the multi-legged calamari under his nose and grossing him out (pansy). He had spaghetti with extra meat sauce.  He's probably the only guy I know that can eat all the meat sauce out of a bowl of spaghetti and not eat the spaghetti!  He really should've just asked for a bowl of meat sauce!

We had some great conversation about his new girlie.  They've got some things to overcome if it's going to last...especially her PMS.  This girl thinks she isn't moody and wants to fight when she's PMSing.  I told him he needs to suggest Mirena.  No periods, no PMS and nothing but fun!  He said he'd mention it to her.  He'd better not mention that he discussed this with another woman or he'll be up shit creek!

It was a great evening and I headed home around 8:30. I had to be in Auburn by 8 a.m. the next morning.

FRIDAY

Took the Beast into the shop at 8 a.m.  I love "Car and Truck Pros" in Auburn California.  They're the only ones I trust with the beast.  They're honest and they care.  I will drive the extra 38 miles to make sure I'm covered on my vehicle.  Since I'll be taking a long drive to Oregon/Washington, I wanted to make sure the Beast was in good condition to make the trip. I also had some concerns on the brakes, etc.  I had all 16 of the spark plugs replaced since they were the original plugs and I'm 130,000+ miles in on the thing. They replaced with wipers, the nozzle assembly for the windshield, blah blah blah.  I didn't get done until almost 2 that afternoon.

While I was walking around Auburn, I spotted a Mustang for sale on a lot.  It as a sweet ride, and what I'm looking to replace the Beast with (Ford didn't take bailout money, and I want some ponies under the hood). We'll have to see.  In the meantime, my beast purrs like a kitten!

I then headed over to my BFF from Jr. Hs. to help her prepare for her Dad's surprise birthday party. Since I've known her for so long, her parents are like my parents. I adore them.  Even vacationed with them in Puerto Vallarta.  They are a freaking hoot! I'd toss back tequila with them any day!

Everyone pitched in and when he walked through the door, he was totally surprised.  He was laughing and hugging everyone.  When he saw me, he blurted out "There's my love" and came over and gave me the biggest hug!  I felt like a million bucks.  I think since I've never had a Dad, he always makes me feel like he's mine.

We chowed down on Chile Rellenos, beans, rice, tamales, etc.  It was a right feast! Of course the tequila was flowing and we made margaritas, drank beer, etc. It was just really cool to be included in their family celebration.  Thanks CM!

Afterward, I headed over to my BFF KWs to give her a hug and talk.  We chatted for about an hour or so.  I can use any hugs I can get these days. Then I headed to another friend's (RK) home and visited with a buddy that's in town for a few days. He was celebrating his Dad's birthday the same day and his Dad is a sweetheart also.  Dizzy got herself lots of sugar on Friday.  How blessed can a girl be?

SATURDAY

I went to the Saw and Mower place to get my wheels for the riding Snapper mower at 8 a.m.  I also picked up another blade for the thing, but was unable to loosen the bolts to get the damned thing on.  I did manage to get the wheels on so I could do some damage on the rest of the property.

In the meantime, my electrician came and installed the outdoor ceiling fan on the patio roof.  It hangs down a little low for my comfort, so I'm still thinking about it. What's your opinion?

 I love the view from my living room on to the patio.  Lots of green and trees, and my neighbors are not right on top of me.  If I had to move from a mountain community, I didn't do too badly, and I don't feel claustrophobic.  Anyway, I ended up with problems with the riding Snapper mower, and ended up doing most of the lawn mowing by hand.  Since it's a big property, it's a big job. I'm not too upset about it because it's a fabulous workout. I just wanted to make sure the high grass was out of the way for the work guys that are coming this week to remove the concrete, ivy and garbage on the property.

I ended up with a visit from an old friend that afternoon.  KM dropped by to say hello.  The last time I saw him was at his brother's funeral.  When I was still in HS, I meet the two M twins and fell head over heals for (damn it...they both have the same initials!  WTF am I supposed to do here?) The "Older/Taller" KM. The twins introduced me to fast bikes, fast cars and outrageous parties.  It was so nice to catch up and reminisce about the old days.  He asked about my family and remembers my Mother as an outrageous partier. I remember my mother coming on to all the guys I was interested in...which is why I moved out as soon as I could.  I digress....it was just a breath of fresh air, and I'm glad he's back in my life.  Hopefully his wife won't have any issues with catching up with old friends.

Anyway, after he left, I finished off what I could and headed for the shower because there was a party for RK that evening.  I got there about 5 p.m. and didn't leave until midnight.  There were not as many people as expected, but those that were there was fun.  We BBQ'd, drank and laughed.  I'm blessed because most of the friends that I have I've known for a number of years and I think it's pretty rare to keep those kinds of friendships alive and kicking.  The thunder and lightening started around 10 p.m. and it turned cold.  When I got home, I opened up the window next to my bed so I could hear the storm.  Believe it or not, that put me right out.  I love the sound of the wind, rain, thunder...it soothes my soul and will knock me right out.

SUNDAY

Today, I was up at a decent hour and started laundry and cleaning my kitchen, etc.  I finally had to throw out the flowers from my date.  They lasted awhile though, and that's cool.  I dropped by my BFF KWs home and did some day drinking, then went grocery shopping and headed home.  I made myself a nice dinner and consumed it with a glass of wine.  I then found this little gem on FB, and that is what I'm going to end this episode on....This is totally me!!!

The Panty Monster!

So I’m getting ready for work this morning and I’m trying to coordinate my outfit. When women coordinate an outfit, they usually do it all (unless we’re on vacation) i.e. bra and panties match and the color goes with the outfit you’re wearing. Today’s outfit is a black short bolero sweater with a VS lace top underneath and black skirt (Today's outfit below). I’m putting on the black bra, and looking for a comfortable pair of black cotton thong panties…and I can’t seem to find any.

Now granted, I do have laundry to do…but not that much! I’m digging through the only three drawers I have (1 is a bra drawer, one is undies and one miscellaneous, i.e. swimsuits, socks, hose, etc.) and I just can’t seem to find what I want. I end up with a string thong in black with a sheer lacy front and this white piping design on it. It’s more like what you’d wear if you were stripping for a man, not to work. WTF??

Where did my black cotton thongs go? I haven’t been sleeping around and leaving my panties behind in various men’s bedrooms….well maybe in my dreams... But seriously! I know I’ll have to get to the bottom of this, but I’m going to hazard a guess here…

It’s the Panty Monster! A first cousin to the Sock Monster! He’s sneaks in when you least expect it and robs you of the specific panties you’re looking for at that moment. Whatup with that? Why can’t he steal the panties that don’t fit anymore, the raggedy ones..the C Game panties for Christ Sake? For those of you that don’t know, there are different grades of panties.

• A Game – These are the panties that are not necessarily comfortable, but look fabulous and better, look fabulous to the man that is watching you undress. It’s generally his job to remove these panties. When a woman is bringing her “A Game”, you know she’s wearing something special, sexy, hot underneath her clothes.

• B Game – These are the everyday comfortable panties. Nice looking but not special. You wear these under your work clothes or under jeans, etc. These are the ones I travelled to Cabo with last October. Well, my thinking was, I’m single, I’m not travelling with a man…what’s the friggin point!

• C Game – These are the Granny panties, or the B Game retirement panties that you haven’t thrown out. They’re comfortable, but the elastic is probably shot and you could run the risk of them falling down around your ankles if you wear them with a skirt. Women would wear the Granny panties if they’re undressing with their mother around.

Anything below a C Game is not worth mentioning and definitely not worth wearing! A woman wouldn’t be caught dead wearing C Game or anything below when she’s with a boyfriend, partner, etc. Married women may be caught in Granny panties by their husbands, but not often. We have a certain standard we like to uphold.

Not only that, what you wear underneath your clothes affects your mood and body language. At least I think so (my BFFs can chime in anytime here…) because when I’m wearing my A Game panties, I’m much more confident and a take charge kind of person in the bedroom. I know I look good and that makes me feel good. If my A Game panties are sexy and comfortable…that’s a win/win for me. Because most of the time, when I’m wearing a miniskirt (I’m more comfortable in miniskirts than shorts in the summer) I’m wearing comfy A-Game panties underneath…You just never know when someone may catch a glimpse…just sayin.

Now I could understand if the Panty Monster stole all the A Game panties, but why just the B Game black thong panties? There’s just something not right about this picture. I’m sure I’ll get to the bottom of this…they’re probably hiding with the socks I’ve been unable to match.

On the same note: My Jr. High crush (now just buddy) posted a question on FB that reads “I only have enough money to buy either “underwear” or “shoes” – What should I do? My answer was “Commando Baby”. His answer was “I’ve gone commando with nice shoes on…I took the advice of the galactically beautiful and painfully gorgeous…” TAKE THAT BITCHES”!!!

Nutshell Day

Disappointed that my chaise already needs replacing. I was really worried about having an electronic reclining chaise, and now that it won’t go up all the way, it has me worried.  I hate having to deal with stuff like this. The guy came out this afternoon to check it and he's ordering a new one!

I don’t know if you’ve ever worked in the corporate world and compared it to working for a state agency, but the culture in state agencies tend to revolve around food!  OMG, the potlucks, the birthdays, the holidays….everyone is cooking up a storm and there’s always something to be sampled around this facility of over 6,000 people. 

Today, a manager brought in these BBQ Pork Bows (Asian bread rolls filled with pork and sauce) and these things are the bomb.  You can tell that she gets them someplace special. Yes, I broke down and ate one.  The really cool (but not for my waistline) thing about being in project management and building good relationships is that every time there’s a party, or food, etc.  I always get invited…i.e. they think of me as part of their unit.  How cool is that? So, I try to participate all I can and keep these great relationships going, so eating a pork bow is taking one for the team! I do draw the line at cakes, cookies, etc and try to only sample the relatively healthy stuff, but man oh man, so many of the co-workers around here are lean, mean, cooking machines.

Of course, there are others who's contributions you wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole!  You know what I'm talking about...the ones that don't wash their hands after using the facilities.  UGH! Generally speaking though the majority of the people are good eggs.  Because we have so many cultures under one roof, the different contributions are AMAZING! Korean, Indian, Thai, British (yes, he brings in bangers wrapped in some kind of phyllo dough), and of course all different kinds of American, i.e. Southern, Creole, Betty Crocker...the list is endless. Ah well...

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After the furniture guy left, I walked to the lawnmower shop to make sure my tires were ordered.  I'm glad I did because they were completely unorganized.  They got my number and said they would call me tomorrow.  I think they'll be in.  After walking for 3 miles, I came home and tackled the front lawn and driveway area.  I had to get the push mower started and it took me awhile. I had to mess with the choke because it isn't hooked up like it should be. After around 12 to 15 pulls, I did get the fucker working.  Nice workout for the core. 

I think the neighbors that use my driveway for their walking course are happy too.  After all, they can now walk on the lawn part next to the fence.

It's the other part of the yard that will be daunting.  I'll take before and after pictures, but I've hired someone to come in cut down ivy, shrubs, haul off cement, fill in holes, etc.  I just can't do it all and work full time, and I can't keep asking my friends for help. They have lives too. Over a half acre is just too much for one woman!  After they complete that, and I have the stumps removed, I'll be able to maintain the yard myself and I'll slowly hack away at the rest of the ivy. Yeah, I know...this is Dizzy's mundane world.

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Now that I've showered, I'm sipping on some Fireball and getting ready to hit the hay. Gonna go to dinner with a friend tomorrow night at Bucca Di Beppo's. Love me that quasi-Italian food.  I think I'm gonna order the calamari...since he hates seafood and torture him a bit!  He's such a doof!  This guy only goes out with married women.  I don't know why.  I think he's afraid of being in a relationship and likes to know that he can always kick the woman out the door.  I just laugh because he's so funny to listen to and watch. He only drinks scotch and he pretty much hates most food because he can't taste it. I always have fun describing the things I cook and the ingredients. It's like talking to a blank slate.  But he is smart and always fun to debate with.  We'll always be good friends...nothing more.

After tomorrow, I'm off until next Wednesday...using my furlough on Friday and Tuesday (Monday is a holiday...Cesar Chavez observed). So I'll be busy visiting with my BFF's and Racer Boy is in town so there will be a party Saturday night...Woo Hoo!!!

G'nite Peeps.  I'll leave you with an inspirational photo!  Ooorah!

Yeah Baby....YEAH!!!

Dizzy's Diatribe

Ran into a fellow co-worker I haven’t seen in awhile.  She told me I look fabulous and asked if I feel as fabulous as I look (Remember, these people knew me when I was extremely heavy). It’s kind of a funny question.  Why not just give the compliment and walk away?  What more do you really need to hear?  My answer to her was that I feel the most fabulous right after I get off of the Stair Machine. It’s an honest answer.  Keeping an exercise regimen is difficult, especially since I still have a million things to do around the house.  I’m most proud when I’ve done some major sweating and can see the results.  

While there are changes to losing a lot of weight, some things stay the same.  I am still me.  I’m still the person that had the same hang ups at 267 lbs that I do now at 145 lbs (I fluctuate between 145 and 155). Granted, I’m still changing and I’m still dealing, but I’m not suddenly Cindy Crawford. Doors don’t suddenly open and a million dollars are at your disposal because you lost weight. The world doesn’t hand you the greatest luck, the clouds do not part and give you the sunniest days because you’re in shape.

The thing about losing that amount of weight is that I mostly still see myself as that heavy person.  That’s the “body dysmorphia” thing that I’ve talked about before.  I am seeing myself as a thin girl more and more, but I have moments where I’m right back where I was before.  It usually happens when I’m out of my element.  Especially now that I’m single.  I’ll be with a man, and the insecurities kick in and I have to grow a spine and suck it up. My doubts kick in and I’ll be thinking “Why is he with me?” “How could I possibly attractive?”, etc.  But then I remember that I do have a lot to offer and why shouldn’t he be with me?  My head goes back and forth.

I know a lot of people at work have a problem with it too.  They’re expecting the old Diz and will stare at me at meetings. One person thought there were two different “Diz’s” in the Department because they didn’t recognize me (nickname used to protect the alter ego to my Super Hero identity).  The worse is my immediate family, i.e. my Mother and my Sister. My sister continually puts her hands on my stomach and makes loud exclamations about how I’ve managed to keep the weight off (Give it a rest, will ya?  It’s been off for over 3 years now!). My Mother continually asks me how much I weigh and what diet I’m on. She’s the reason for my skewed body image, so I continually tell her that the subject of my weight is off limits and I don’t diet anymore! I’ve made lifestyle changes and they’re common sense ones.

A girl I’ve known since high school always has a comment to say when she sees me now.  “Here comes skinny”, etc.  I AM NOT SKINNY! I’m healthy…I will never be skinny.  I just don’t have it in me, and I prefer a little meat on my bones, some muscle, etc. I’d rather hear I was lean instead of skinny. She’s always been ultra competitive with me and I could never understand why.  She’s the blond haired, blue eyed type and was always in good shape.  She’s added a few pounds lately, but she’s working it off.  She never had a problem getting guys.  But the reality is…we all have our insecurities. 

I guess I just hate the backhanded complements.  You know what I mean?

• ·       You have a really pretty face
• ·       You’d be really beautiful if you lost some weight
• ·       You’re pretty, but…
• ·       A pretty girl like you shouldn’t have to worry that
• ·       Let me take care of that for you. A pretty girl like you shouldn’t have to think.

Usually, when comments like that are made…the guy is busy staring at your rack anyway. He doesn’t care if your beautiful, have brains or if you can hold a decent conversation.  I can’t tell you how many times I had to tell a guy “Hey…my eyes are up here”.  I’m pretty much a “plain Jane”, but the twins have always been shall we say…substantial!  It’s really funny to move your torso around and watch guys eyes follow your chest like a dog follows a stick that you’re getting ready to throw.

It’s worse getting comments like that from a girl.  Where’s the solidarity? Where’s the sisterhood? You would expect a woman to have your back…NOT!  If you’re going to compliment someone, just do it and not add anything more, unless it’s to further the compliment, i.e. “Nice skirt. You look fabulous”.  Do not say “Nice skirt. It makes you look fabulous.”  You may as well say, “If it wasn’t for that nice skirt, you’d be an absolute skank!” I’d be lobbing my phone at your head so quick, it’ll make your head spin!

And why does everyone think you suddenly have the answer to quick weight loss? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people come up to me at work and ask me that question.  I break out laughing and remind them that this has been years in the making.  It may seem like it happened overnight, but it didn’t. It isn’t easy. It’s a struggle every damned day. Every day you make choices that can affect your waistline and you decide whether or not it’s worth an extra half hour on Vin Diesel to eat that awesome buttery croissant.  No matter what way you choose, there is no easy way out.

You hope that your choices become habits and easier to make. You do the best you can. And when I’m on vacation, I pretty much blow my choices out the window.  I will exercise though, so it allows me the freedom to eat and drink what I want. I hate when friends monitor what I eat and question it.  “Do you really think you should be eating that…after all the hard work you put in?” Really? You’re questioning me when I’m the one that did the work? When I’m the one that is still getting up at 3 a.m. to get my sorry butt on the Stair Master so I can eat this stuff? 

Or how about when they question you and say “Wow, you look so great!  What did you do…Gastric Bypass?? Lapband???” As if to say that those choices are any easier? That there’s less work involved if you choose one of those methods?  You don’t have to watch your diet and exercise if you choose a surgical option?  I do not give people an answer when they ask me that question.  I don't give a fuck what they think. It's none of their damned business...think what you want, because in the end...it doesn't matter if I did or not. Every single option out there boils down to the fact that you still have to work out and you still have to make good food choices. BOTTOM LINE!

I can’t tell you how many people at my work that have had gastric bypass and lap band but managed to gain back all the weight and so much more. There was one lady that had Gastric Bypass and lost over 100 lbs. She would still go out to lunch and bring back McDonalds every day. She gained it all back.  The reason is because they (like the average idiot that asks that question) forgot that you still have to do the work. You still have to exercise and make healthy food choices. There is no easy way out! McDonalds every once in a while is ok…sometimes you just have to have a cheese burger (even I know that), but not every day.

Whew…I don’t know what happened there. Guess that comment set me off. Although my diatribe makes me sound like a weight freak, I’m actually pretty comfortable and sometimes even forget to eat (not proud of that). I’ll always have good days and bad days, but for the most part, I’ve learned to put diet and exercise into perspective and I’ve actually gotten to a point where I enjoy the exercise.  Enough of that now.  I think I need some vanilla ice cream….

On a more lighthearted note....this Klutz has managed to put more marks on her legs...damn gardening!!!

Perfumed Gays Driving Lawnmowers...

Just kidding! I was having fun trying to incorporate my topics into one title.  I'm still laughing over this one....

The workout on Vin Diesel was a good one. I was looking out the window while on Vin, and noticed a full moon.  Pretty cool view to exercise to. I love the feeling of everything tightening up. It makes me feel invincible!  Although I really needed my morning coffee as sleep was a bit elusive last night. I had been doing better on my sleep, but last night I just couldn’t seem to get comfortable. Too many thoughts running through my head. Ah well.

I go out to my truck, only to see that a flock of birds had a horrible case of dysentery all over one side of the truck! Really???  WTF!

I see the marriage debate is kicking up with Starbucks coming out and telling their traditional marriage shareholders that if they don’t like the Starbucks stance of same sex marriage, then they should sell their shares.  Really?  Where’s the freedom in that? Can’t same sex believers and traditional believers be able to get along and own shares of a company? Why does it have to be only one way?

I honestly don’t care about same sex marriage.  My issue isn’t necessarily with the union, it’s trying to change religion to suit the agenda.  Religion is a difficult thing to change, as a couple thousand years of war can attest to.  I believe that if two people are going to invest their lives in each other, they should have all the rights that anyone else would. No more…no less.  Just because you’re homosexual or lesbian, doesn’t mean you get special rights.  Just because I’m heterosexual doesn’t mean I get special rights.

If the same sex people really wanted it to be about being together, they’d push for a civil union and get all the same rights without calling it marriage. I’m a firm believer that Proposition 8 in California would’ve passed if they called it a “union” instead of a “marriage”. There’s a heavy Catholic influence in California and they couldn’t let that one go.

I’d also like to take back the word “Gay”. Gay used to be a happy-go-lucky word. All the old songs have the word gay in it. When did it start denoting same-sex? Why can’t I be joyous and gay without having someone think that I’m happy and out? Although I’ve always had a thing for Rhona Mitra…shhhh!  People just need to relax and focus on our Country and our economy.

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Had a great discussion with a couple of co-workers regarding men’s cologne. One of the co-workers, always smells awesome. He dresses impeccably, but it’s the cologne he wears that always gets me.  So the three of us are talking about perfume and cologne and how men, in general, don’t necessarily wear it, or when they do, they literally bathe in it.

I would always try and get my ex to wear it, but it just wasn’t his thing. I even told him that it was a turn on and that I would instigate some crazy stuff if he would wear it. Nope…didn’t want to. However, he loved me wearing perfume.  Why the double standard?  I don’t think any less of a man because he wants to smell nice. Why don’t men notice when women pull an exorcist (i.e. head twisting around) when a great smelling guy walks by?  We do appreciate the effort.  There’s nothing I love better than nibbling on a man’s neck and inhaling the awesome scent of good cologne, sweat and him! Every man has his own particular scent and put that with the other two and my knees are weak! It’s a combination of the 5 senses put into play, and smell has every bit to do with bringing the whole package together.

Am I wrong? Don’t guys think the same thing about women and perfume? Don’t answer that question, because I already know the answer…having experienced it firsthand.  Some men “get it”. And if I’m wearing the right perfume, and my shit is together, I can be an unstoppable force that gets what I want.  

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So I hurried home after work to pull of the tire on the Snapper Mower.  This thing is old and I want to say the tires are somewhere between 20 and 30 years old. I needed to get it to the mower shop before they closed at 5.  I managed to make it. Found out that the rubber was shot, so I had them order me two new tires.  If I'm lucky, I'll get to use the mower this weekend.

Taking Care of Business

I knew I had a lot on my plate today. Today I donned my cutoff shorts and my boy's Army shirt along with a backward CaboWabo hat and painted the trim on both French Doors and the front door in preparation of the screens that will be put in this week.  The weather was freaking awesome!

Ya know, there really isn't a lot that I can't do. I didn't really know that about myself until the past 4 years or so. Circumstances will force you into the "Fight or Flight" mode.  I fight. Every once in a while, I may curl into the fetal position waiting for my nerve to come back, but it always does, and I uncurl myself, put up my fists and start swinging. While there isn't really a lot that I can't do....there are some things that I just don't do well.  I am not a painter! I just don't have the knack for it. It should be relatively simple, i.e. dip the brush in the paint, and using a sweeping motion, apply paint to surface.  Yeah, right.  My paint job looks like I was having some sort of seizures or spastic hand motions while trying apply my paint. After about 3 coats though, it doesn't look too bad.

Then I set about removing the blue tape on my door thresholds. It's been there for over a year.  UGH!  What a pain in the ass!  I should've removed them a long time ago, but I figured that since the house wasn't quite done, that I'd just leave it.  Who knew that if you leave it on that long, it would take a herculean effort to remove it.  Lesson learned for the next project!

I'm still trying to find the right people to put in my flooring in the bedroom and to clean up the yard.  That is another huge task.  I need to remove the tire from the Snapper sit mower and take it in to be patched. The list is endless and daunting, so I'm just trying to think of one step at a time. Or make that three since I'm a multi-tasker.

This is my dinner tonight.... I'm having a little brie with truffles on homemade Pugliese toast points and some red wine. Then I'm going to fill up my monster tub and sink my body into the hot water and unwind!

I have to say, that tub is a God Send!  Have I already written about the tub? My BFF and I shopped all over town looking for a corner tub for the bathroom.  Every tub we saw was between $4k and $8k. The key for me, is that the tub had to be deep. Being a former fat girl, nothing is worse than getting into a tub and not having your body be submerged. Even though I knew that I wouldn't have that problem now, I still have a hangup about it. We just didn't have any luck.

I then went through my plumbers book (he said I could have the tub at the price he get's it) and picked out a simple corner tub.  6 jets...nothing else. Price? $5k...no effing way I was going to spend that. So I told him I'd find one on the web.  I did at DecorPlanet.com.  For $2,300 (tax and shipping included) I got the deepest tub I could find, with 22 jets, a waterfall, mood lighting, a shower head and an AM/FM stereo!  It frakking ROCKS! It could easily fit three people...not that I'm into a menage or anything....

Ok Peeps.  I'm off to fill up the tub. Hope your weekend was as good as mine. Until tomorrow.

Rules revisited...

Before I get into revisiting the Diz Rules...I paid up on the Super Bowl bet last night. I pulled out all the stops. I made a tequila drink to start off with (1 can of limeade, 1 1/2 cans tequila, 1 can water, 1 can pineapple juice) which was met with enthusiasm (he pretty much drank the batch). After a tour of the crib (he helped tear down the old, but hadn't seen the new), I started dinner off with the Caesar salad, the mussels in white wine and shallots and clam chowder, along with french bread.

After that, we had the crab cakes and eviscerated the lobsters. I gutted my lobster with expertise, and showed Mr. SV how it's done.  We ate so much that we didn't get to the Tiramisu.  Ah well.  Any further details and conversation we agreed would be Vegas and never happened. So....

Today, after cleaning up the dishes and shopping for paint for the door trim, I headed over to my BFFs to engage in some "Day Drinking". While there, I was harassed by her and RW about my "Rules". They came up with every argument about me even having rules and said that they were unnecessary.  RW said that at the rate I was going, my vag would be cobwebby and dusty and that I'd never see any action because there's only 6 guys in the universe that could fit into my rules.

What???  Really???  I don't agree with his statement.  I think my rules are pretty common sense and reasonable. It's been bugging RW for awhile, because the topic came up many times during the visit. I did agree to combine two of the rules, so now the rules are as follows (but not necessarily in this order).

• Don't play in the work pond
• Don't play with married or engaged men
• Don't play with men the same age or younger than my boy
• Don't play with men who don't have their shit together
• Don't play with the brothers of my girlfriends.

They absolutely hate the last rule and said that I need to relax a bit and just have fun. It shouldn't matter if they're related to my friends.  The problem is that it's difficult to separate conversations and to know what you can and can't say to whom. If a friend tells you something, you can't mention it to the brother until the sister mentions it to them. Otherwise, you overstep boundaries. There's nothing worse than to say something and share information that probably should not have been broken by you. UGH!!!  I just don't need complications right now. I'm complicated enough for myself, let alone the guy I may be seeing.  

I can tell that I'm not going to win this argument with my friends.  I just have to do what I feel I need to do to be right with myself. And like I said before, it's always possible that I'd break my own rules due to understanding that sometimes, things just happen. We'll see.

Anyway Peeps...I'm headed to bed.  I have a lot to do tomorrow.

Bets and iPods...

Paying off Bets

So I’m preparing to pay off a debt tomorrow and all the stuff that goes into dinner makes my head spin.  I had to run it by my BFF because her taste is impeccable. So far, so good.  Although, she did ask if I held a candle for this guy (even a tiny birthday candle), which I thought was funny, but understandable given the effort I’m putting in.   Don’t get me wrong, Mr. Sweet Victory would be quite the catch… Extremely sharp, Retired Military, makes bank (as much as you can from the State), very handsome, owns his own home, has his shit together…etc.  But he’s a little too young for me, and I would be breaking rule #1. He's on most of the IT teams that I run, so that wouldn't be prudent.

Plus, in our conversations, I know that he’d like a family, etc.  And Dizzy is not going there!  I think my window for children has passed, and I’ve accepted that.  No people…I’m not at the menopause age and could have children if I wanted…it’s just that when I start doing the math, I don’t think it’s fair. I’m in great shape and could keep up, but for how long? At this point in my life, I’m also selfish…I love to travel and pick up and go.  I also need to be prepared for the day I may have custody of my Niece…just like I did my Nephew aka Son.  You just never know.  Yeah, Mr. SV is a great guy, but no.  However, he has been to my home a couple of times and helped gut the inside of the house.  He also helped me stack cement and stucco in the waste containers, which is difficult work.  I think he’s earned the dinner I’m presenting…besides winning the bet.

Tonight I’ll put up the last part of the walltat, but I really should’ve gotten help with it. I’m so freaking stubborn!  I keep trying to do everything myself because I’ve asked so much from my friends with this home. I will say this about the whole thing.  I’ve gotten better at asking for help.  I never used to do that.  I also have my eye on some flatware that I showed my BFF and got approval on.  It’s the only flatware I’ve been able to find with a 3 pronged fork, instead of the usual 4.  I’m drowning in effing froufrou details!  I should be more focused on some ammo, gun oil and cleaning kit for my Sig .40.

Death of an iPod

On a sad note, I’m mourning the demise of my beloved iPod.  This iPod resides primarily in my Durango and has all my music. I did the wiring myself in the Durango for the iPod (since the 04 didn’t come pre-wired) and it has served me well. Sadly, I went to turn it on, and this horrible sound came from it and it made these clicking sounds and shut down. Pitiful!!!  I must say though, my first gen iPod lasted longer than this one did. First gen iPod came out November 10^th, 2001 (my brother’s and the Marine Corps Birthday) and mine lasted till about 09.  However I purchased the iPod I’m using now for the ex in 07 and it stayed in a freaking drawer for 2 years, until mine had died. Why buy a new one, when a perfectly good iPod was sitting in a drawer being WASTED!  That is total sacrilege for an Apple freak like me.  So I’ll be headed to the MotherShip to pick up an iPod Classic.  160 GB should be enough to hold all of my music and movies…and allow me to partition the drive for my Sony camera, so I have another spot to dump photos if I fill up the camera card.

This also puts me in a prime position so that if I ever decide on the iPad, I may be able to use the iPod as an external drive so I don’t have to have my music and movies clouding up the memory on the Pad.  I may have to jailbreak the Pad, but I’m not sure yet.  No…I’m not a geek, I’m more like a wannabe. 

Perhaps I should find a spot next to my beloved JazzyKat and bury the iPod there.  It couldn’t be in better company and maybe it’ll provide my kitty music in Heaven.  Diz has gone off the deep end.

Update

Ok, as you can see, I finished the WallTat.  I like the way it turned out and I think it's just right.  I don't think it overpower's the room, which was a huge concern for me.  Now I just have to find the right lamp for that corner. I also picked up a Wine Hutch for the corner that was holding my wine rack.  I think it turned out nice as well.  I picked up the stuff for the dinner...everything except the dessert.  We'll work on that in the morning.  

And the final thing, Dizzy got her replacement iPod.  Would you believe that after loading all my music and Movies...there's only 5 GB left of a 160 GB iPod?  Guess I'll have to be picky and only put the best movies on...All the music is staying damn it!!!

One more goofy pic....G'nite Peeps!

Risk

“Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” – T.S. Elliot

What risks have you taken? What are you willing to risk? How far are you willing to take it? The T.S. Elliot quote above strikes a chord with me and I’m sure with many others too.  We all take risks, but some are more cautious than others. Are you willing to risk a marriage or relationship to experience something that may never come along again? Are you willing to risk your life, and who are you willing to risk it for?

I have no doubts that when it comes to risks, the ultimate risk takers are the ones who risk their lives for people they don’t know, i.e. our Armed Forces, and other faceless/nameless heroes.  Sometimes you’re risking a way of life, a comfort zone that is easy and safe.

I used to lie in bed at night scared to death about divorcing my husband and ending a familiar way of life (On the other hand, there were times I’d wake up panicked that my husband was gone and have to touch him to make sure he was alive).  What if I don’t make it? Where will I live? How can I afford it? What about the other people it may impact i.e. my Boy, my Niece? Now I look back and think “what if I didn’t take the risk?”  Although scary and challenging, I know I made the right decision. I dared to believe that I could have a life different from the one I was living.

What about jumping out of a perfectly good plane? I am a bit of an adrenaline junkie, and skydiving was a perfect opportunity and risk. Was I risking my life…yes. But it was a calculated risk and the odds were in my favor that I’d make it back alive.  I have every intention of bungee jumping off the Foresthill Bridge one day…another calculated risk.  I love heights and hanging half my body over the edge to get a really good look and that weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I think that people who are willing to take risks make excellent change agents (a PM term).  They may have a healthy fear of the unknown, but they welcome the challenge to shake things up and experience the new, the different, the change. Not everything has to change and I’m not saying that if you’re in a good spot, relationship, whatever, that you need to take a risk and change it.  If you’re lucky enough to be in a great relationship, that in itself is a challenge, i.e. to keep it and keep it fresh, fun, fucking fantastic.  The right person is the best risk.

I stayed far too long at a particular job. I loved the perks, i.e. travelling, meeting tax practitioners, getting up on stage and talking to 300 people about something you believe in, something that’s an actual benefit to them, to taxpayers and to the State. But after 9 years, I was getting complacent at my job. I wasn’t going to get promoted because there were no further opportunities with this group. Some of the people I worked with had no clue what I did or how much I did, and I could tell by the comments. It was fear of starting over, being the new person, making mistakes, but I did it. And I’m glad that I did. 

Wouldn’t you know it, right at the same time of switching jobs, I finally had enough of the extra weight I was carrying around and decided to do something decisive about that too.  So I doubled my stress level and in retrospect, don’t think I would’ve done it that way if I could change it.  However, it seems I was capable of both.  It seems like the last 4 to 5 years of my life has been risk and change.  I wouldn’t mind a little smooth sailing and calm for the next year, but I’m beginning to believe that I may have an attraction to risk, to seeing just how far I can go, or how far life can take me. I just couldn’t have said it as succinctly as T.S. Elliot.

Well, I got 2/3rds of the WallTat up.  I didn't end up putting it in the corner because it made the walls look smaller.  The tat didn't reach as far as I thought it would and left a lot of empty space. So I'm putting it up on the back wall and I'll use the side wall for my autographed Sammy poster...Hey, it's in the right colors...

Anyway, it's time for me to go to bed.  I'm already late and tomorrow is going to be a busy day.  I've got to make my caesar dressing for Mr. "Sweet Victory" bet winner, and prep the salad, etc.; finish the wall tat, go shopping..blah blah blah!  Thank God I have Friday off, but the morning will be filled with Dr. appts, waxing and waiting for those damned live lobsters to show up.  You know...I really should borrow a card table and chairs....

G'nite my friends

Definition of "Flip Flops"

So, I had a spirited debate on the definition of "flip flops". The person was commenting on the following picture and said that these were "Greek Mythology Sandals"...(like he would even know Greek Mythology if it bit him in the ass...).

I did give him a mythology multi-question quiz and he passed half. I'm willing to bet he Googled it, but if he didn't...then he gets brownie points for getting it HALF right.

Anyway, since the furniture delivery people are going to be late, we'll settle this flip flop issue right now.  If you're reading this Wuss...listen up! The definition of flip flop is "A type of open shoe, often made of rubber, with a V-shaped strap that goes between the big toe and the toe next to it".  Note the the strap between the toes in the picture.  It's just a variation of the V strap, but it's a wide V. The other straps are decorative. And it still makes that damned flopping sound when you walk in them. I say these are a fancy version of flip flops.

The definition of sandal is "an open type of footwear consisting of a sole held to the wearer's foot by straps or thongs passing over the instep and around the ankle". BAM!!!  What you got to say about that Beyotch?  That would make the picture to the right..sandals! Note the straps going around the ankles and the straps around the instep?  The fact that I even know the definition of the two different shoes makes me horrified that I'll be totally lost in the girly realm of reality.

Oh, what was the Greek Mythology questions I asked you may wonder? Well it was "Who are Achilles parents? Who were the top two contenders and why did they bow out?

His parents were Peleus, King of Thessaly and Thetis, a sea nymph.  The Gods Poseidon and Zeus both wanted Thetis as his own, but a prophecy that Thetis would bear a son "greater than his father" scared them away.

And that concludes Dizzy's bitchy lesson on Flip Flops and Greek Mythology!

While waiting for the furniture peeps, I managed to abuse Vin Diesel for 62 minutes.  Didn't think I'd get back to an hour so soon on the StairMaster, but Justin Timberlake and his groove helped, plus I was irritated with the delivery people.

Behold Dizzy's new furniture...

So I ended up with a huge chaise, and as you can see, it is more than big enough for me and Beanie to snuggle up with a movie and popcorn!  I purchased that with her in mind.  Both the chaise and the chair on the right recline and the middle folds down for drinks and stuff. It's just right for that back wall and I can still open the French door.  The wall tat will go behind it and on that side wall by the door.  After over a year of looking, the living room furniture has been purchased! Whew...what a pain in my..well, nevermind.

Now I'm looking for a home for the Lazy Boy recliner and the sofa that my BFFs kindly let me use. In the grand scheme of things, I'm pretty blessed. I have friends to pick on, friends that have my back, a snug home.  And I'm checking things off my "To Do" list.

It started raining right after they brought in the furniture, but I have the windows wide open in my bedroom.  I so love the sound of the rain and the fresh smell it brings. I may even leave the windows open all night...my bed is warm enough. I'm used to leaving a window open in my bedroom during all seasons. I'd even crack it in Foresthill with the snow. But since I've been back in the city, I've been a little more wary.  I have a gun and I know how to use it, but I'm not trying to invite trouble either. I still want to be able to have my windows open and maybe even the screen on the french door in my bedroom during the summer months.  I love that time.  We'll see....

Now I need to pick up the paint for the doors, get a couple of people to bid on the yard clean up and get some people to bid on carpeting the bedroom. UGH! I'm whining a little. My BFF and I were talking and people don't understand that after making a shitload of decisions around this house...colors, textures, stucco, appliances, fixtures...you just want to scream over making more decisions and spending the last of your money. Only someone who's been through it really knows.  Everyone else thinks we're lucky assholes to be able to "make things the way we want them" not realizing that I'm constantly second-guessing my choices since I have the style of a exiled Russian trapped in Siberia. Does this go? Does that belong there? Should I have picked something else?  It's the one time (other than sex) where I really feel like a WOMAN! Yes, a woman who can't make up her fucking mind...I hate that!

I need to call my Boy and say hello.  He always grounds me when I start to get a little weirded out by life. Ok Peeps...I'm off to slide my freshly showered body into my nice crisp clean bedsheets and await Lionel Richie singing me awake at 3:15 in the morning for another throw-down with Vin. Bring it Bitches!!!

Busy Week/Can Ex's be Friends?

It’s the beginning of another week.  It’s going to be a week of change to the crib and for me, and of course, the payment of a bet. This morning I lasted 42 minutes on Vin Diesel, which makes me exceedingly happy.  It’s amazing how much your muscles will bounce back after a hiatus…as long as you don’t break for too long!  I could feel my muscles stretching and my butt tightening up (it’s a great feeling), the sweat trickling from my scalp, neck and under the twins. It’s weird how you’ll come off an exercise session and you’ll have these crescent moon sweat marks underneath the twins…how attractive can that be? Ok, I get that guys don’t get that, but women do!

With the help of my fashion guru, KW…I wore this outfit to work today…. The skirt is a pencil skirt made of stretchy material and it is really tight fitting.  It’s so tight I had to make sure the panties couldn’t be seen.  There was a time that I’d be really self-conscious about wearing body hugging clothes. I didn’t want people to actually “See” me.  Now, I don’t necessarily care if they see me, I have more of a “this is what I’m wearing…go eff yourself” mentality.  I’m not dressing for anyone other than myself, so WYSIWYG (What You See Is What You Get). Don’t get me wrong though…because I wasn’t seen for so many years, I still sometimes get pangs of anxiety when I realize that I am being seen.  I have to take a deep breath and get over it. It doesn’t happen as much as it used to, which is why I’m wearing the clothes that I am.

My furniture arrives tomorrow, along with the Wall Tat that I got for the living room wall. It’s going to look so sweet!  Here’s a picture of it… I’d seen this in Cosmo a couple of years ago, and the picture stuck with me.  I always thought it would look cool and now I have the place to put it, so I ordered it.  It’s made of vinyl so it won’t damage the walls.  I’ll leave the leaves off, and just go with the stark look of the tree.  It’s a Japanese maple, but since I went for more earth tones and a Mexican flair, I don’t want the leaves to give the Japanese look.  The main color is chocolate brown with the highlight color being orange/red. I was wondering if it would be too much in my living room, but after looking at the wall, I think it’ll be just fine. I don’t have a knack for decorating, so I usually drag my friends in to help me.  The leather wall masks from Mexico, and this wall tat is all me. So I’m taking a risk. 

I’ll also be painting the door trim on the two sets of French doors and the front door to prepare for the retractable screen doors that are coming. This means that I finally have to peel the blue tape from the door threshold. It’s been on for over a year to protect it from all the traffic.  I guess this means I’m finally coming to a close on this stuff.  Although, when you live on over a half acre…the work is NEVER done! 

At least I got the old Snapper Sit Mower working.  That sucker is old, but it still runs.  I was having a great time joy riding on the thing and cutting all the grass.  Now, I’ve got a flat tire, so I gotta take that in to be fixed, but then…the joy riding will commence again!  Once all of the land is flat, it’ll be much easier to mow that crap down!

I’ve ordered the live lobsters and they should be delivered on bet day.  I also picked up the shell crackers, so I’d be ready.  I’m going to make what I can ahead of time, so I won’t be stressing out cooking all day on the day of the bet. I’ll make the Caesar dressing the day before, but still need to line up a card table and chairs. UGH.  Did I mention that…I HATE TO LOSE?

Why Can't We Be Friends?

The ex-boyfriend is posting pictures with his new girlfriend on FB.  I’m actually ok with it, and hear that she’s a really nice, sweet person (unlike the beyotch ex-girlfriend that expected too much and broke up with him…i.e. me).  I miss the haunts that they’re visiting because they were so much fun, but other than that. I don’t know what the “Ex-etiquette” is for FB.  Basically, when I see the pictures, I hit the like button. 

I hope that’s ok.  I think when I do that, he sees it and she does too, but I’m not sure. I actually do like that he’s happy.  We weren’t meant to be together, and that’s the way it is.  I think the only thing that bothers me about the entire thing is that he won’t communicate with me.  We were friends for years before we got together. But now that we’ve broken up, suddenly I’m persona non grata.  Why is it that we can no longer be friends?  I don’t think I’ve ever had an ex-boyfriend that wasn’t still my friend.

As a matter of fact, they make great friends because they know you on a different level. So we can talk about those things that you wouldn’t normally talk to your regular friends about.  We can talk about our current partners and the issues because we know each other on that level.  The other great thing is that they give you the “male” perspective, which is important. So those things that I would talk about with my 4 Besties, I can talk with them about too and get both the male and female sides.  Does that sound weird? It’s why I can be friends with the ex-husband. He does know me and my faults…although we’re not at a point in our new relationship yet where I can discuss any male partners or boyfriends….and that’s ok.

I just feel like relationships shouldn’t be so complicated.  I’m usually friends with someone before I hook up with them. We’ve chatted, emailed, texted, hung out etc. There’s some kind of history.  I’m perfectly willing to admit that it’s due to my trust issues (i.e. man-hater mentality).  It’s effing RARE that I meet someone and go full throttle to the naughty!  As a matter of fact, I’ve only done it twice. So if I’m going to take the time to invest in a friendship, I don’t want to lose it just because the intimate part didn’t work out.  Am I being unreasonable?  I don’t believe I am, and the fact that he can’t deal just confirms that his maturity level was far below mine….which is why we didn’t work out.

Hope your workweek goes well my friends!  I'm off to walk with my BFF.