Friday Funnies

It’s always nice to relate to people who have the same effed up, warped sense of humor that you do. Granted, I’m usually the instigator (No!....Really?) when it comes to the wicked stuff my Girlies and I laugh about. Now there are certain things that you are not supposed to talk about since they’re politically incorrect (those words are kryptonite to this chick), especially at work. But you know who you can and can’t talk to about certain things. If you don’t know, you need to keep your mouth shut or suffer the consequences.

There’s these two ladies “G” and “D” that I’ll end up laughing with until my sides hurt. Nothing is off limits of discussion and I’ll usually be the one to push it right over the edge. We have a standing joke about voodoo dolls that we pretend we’ve made of people who’ve pissed us off. We’re always coming up with new and exciting ways to torture these dolls so that the recipient will suffer the greatest impact. “D” says she’s gonna have 3 voodoo dolls of her ex so each of us can take one and torture it at the same time. We joked about banging them together, lighting them on fire, etc. When the SuperBowl commercial came out with the voodoo dolls, we cracked up over that.

We ended up talking about the times we’ve been mistaken for dead! I know…right? “D” was floating in the pool and her husband didn’t see her move and had to come out to make sure she was still alive. She told him “If I’m floating face down…that would be the time to check on me”. Too Funny. I told them about the time a couple of years back, I was at the Cabo resort lying on a beach towel in the sand. I fell asleep and the next thing I know, some lady is nudging me with her toe. I woke with a start and scared the crap outta her. She said that she was watching me from an upper balcony and that I hadn’t moved for a couple of hours and she was worried (I hadn’t been sleeping at night due to having to share a room with the ex during our separation). I laughed over that one. I told my Girlies that I’d have been more upset if she caught me drooling or something.

That sets “D” off on a tangent about men with beards and how she hates to kiss them because the water rubs off on her face and freaks her out. I’m just busting up over this. She then says something about not knowing whether or not it’s snot or another liquid. And I shot back that if it was snot, there’d be snot strings coming away on her face. And that was it…we were hysterical!

When the Mayan Calendar ended, we were talking about the people camped out at the Mayan ruins waiting for the end to come. I said that I certainly wouldn’t want them to be disappointed, so if I was there, I’d get behind the wheel of the tour bus they came in on and run them down. That way, their depiction of the prophesy comes true! Oh man…after that, they would constantly throw out…”Gee Diz, you gonna run us down in your bus?” They definitely keep the mundane from seeping into my work life!

FB and MM

Still a little weirded out about last night’s post on FB about replacing MM. It just hit me kind of hard. It’s partially because I know some history behind the band that MM kept on the DL. He was really furious that “J” was jacking him around, not returning his calls and acting unprofessional regarding how the band was run and lining up their next gigs. He was thinking about quitting the band because he didn’t want to deal with that stuff…he just wanted to drum and asked me my opinion on it. We went back and forth and he asked that I not let the guys know that we talked. He needed to think about it and decide what to do. Unfortunately God decided for him that it was time to quit.

Then to see that “J” had already lined up a replacement…well, I don’t know…just kinda freaked me out. I’m having friend withdrawals. I’m missing my little “I love you” notes and my XXXOOO’s that he’d send. And while I’m extremely blessed to have a small group of “die for” friends, and a larger group of really good friends, having one being taken out of the “die for” equation just wasn’t something I’d factored on. I guess I just haven’t wrapped my head around it yet. I think that to do so, would mean that I have to accept the fact that I could lose more…and I just can’t do that right now. I’m putting it on a back burner until I have the time and space to deal.