Heartache

My Love has a contract with the Federal Government. Needless to say, with the Government shutdown, he was no longer being paid. With no money coming it, it was important for him to find backup work, so he couldn't come on our "love triip". Heartbreaking (because I know he needed the break), but understandable.

Unfortunately, with all of our texting, we got our wires crossed and ended up in a wicked fight that has lasted almost a week.  Today, I got my first glimmer that things might be ok, because he sent me a song.  But for awhile there, I just didn't know.  It's so hard to be so many miles away, in a foreign country, and not being able to stand in the presence of the one you love, so they can see your eyes, feel your heart and know that it was all a big mistake.  The love is there.

To top it off, I meet a guy from Grass Valley who wanted to get naughty and I meet another Devil Dog on Wednesday night, works out of Portland, and he's made it clear he's interested. I don't need this kind of pressure when my heart is elsewhere.  Besides, this is where I met my guy. I don't want anyone else ruining it for me.

Dizzy needs to get her head straight.  September was a blur and I worked my ass off.  I need the downtime.