Indoctrination from our Schools

“Those willing to give up freedom for security deserve neither freedom nor security.”  Benjamin Franklin.

I came across this today, and I felt it was important to blog about. It came out of an article from The Blaze in Florida.  I just copied the key part….

“Aaron Harvey's son wrote as part of a school lesson, "I am willing to give up some of my constitutional rights in order to be safer or more secure." TheBlaze has redacted the child's name.

Harvey's son attends Cedar Hills Elementary in Jacksonville, Fla. Back in January, a local attorney came in to teach the students about the Bill of Rights. But after the attorney left, fourth-grade teacher Cheryl Sabb dictated the sentence to part of the class and had them copy it down, he said.”

WTF?? What gives a school teacher the right to push their personal views on to impressionable minds of children?  This is wrong on so many levels, but happens every day in this Country.  If we as parents are not vigilant regarding our children’s education, then our children will be indoctrinated before we even know what’s hit us!

Thank God the father had the good sense to forward his concerns to the paper and have the school and teacher outed. Unfortunately, this is only the beginning.  You have another moron by the name of “Melissa Harris-Perry” out there spouting that “Your kids don’t belong to you – but the whole community”. Well, if this is how the “community” teaches children, we have a bigger fight on our hands than most people realize. In my opinion, the community and our Country belongs to our children.

We cannot afford to be complacent or apathetic! We have to speak out, fight against this kind of brain-washing.  Our freedoms have been paid and continue to be paid for by the blood of patriots. To ignore these concerns is to turn your back on everything this Country is supposed to stand for.  It frustrates me to no end (Gee Diz….really???).   Sorry my friends.  There is so much more I could say, but sometimes I feel like I’m pushing against a brick wall.

I have a friend that just told me she doesn’t concern herself with voting or what’s going on.  I wanted to slap the apathy right out of her. Really??? You and people like you are the reason this Country is going down the toilet.  Freedom isn’t easy. Your rights will always be taken by someone who is willing to take it, if you don’t fight to keep it.  It is these kinds of people that one day, wake up and shake their heads, wondering what happened and how did they end up in this situation….Just like the citizens of Germany. Only, it will be too late for them to do anything about it.  Grrrrrr!!!

Ok, done with that diatribe.  

Dizzy is doing some "grooming" today, i.e. the annual (or sometimes semi-annual) hair straightening  process.  Which has commenced that the poison is on my head right now.  Ah, the things women to do avoid frizz. 

I also have to do my taxes this weekend.  My whole unit put off their taxes until this week. I guess its something about always being around them, etc.  I don't know.  

I need to drop by and visit the Beanster tomorrow also.  She's feeling a bit unloved and neglected because her Mommy isn't taking her tummy aches seriously.  Sometimes its so hard to be on the outside and be a good Auntie.  If my sister isn't careful, she may drive away my niece.  She's so damned temperamental and moody. My sister screams at the drop of a hat. She's always been self absorbed and difficult to live with.  Ugh!

Until tomorrow my friends...I'm checking out the Kenny Chesney video "Come Over".

Does Being "In Love" Wear Off?

I was talking to my friend L today. She said that she had asked her neighbor (who’s been married for 40 years) if she was still “In Love” with her husband. The woman replied “Oh L…after so many years that goes away. Yes, I love him, but that “In Love” stuff doesn’t last. She then said that L was naïve.

Wow! I was not happy to hear that, because even though I’m not a teen, I want to believe the man I end up with will work as hard as I do to stay “In love”. I think that people assume that once you fall in love…that’s it! That relationships that are not easy, must be the wrong relationship and it’s time to bail and “fall in love” with someone else.

I have to be honest and say that I’ve never just fallen in love (except once). Love for me has always been something that grows. I might be attracted, but I never allowed myself to fall instantly in love. I didn’t trust enough for that and I always knew that eventually I’d get screwed over, so I was extremely cautious. Even my ex-husband… I knew for years before the love grew into “In Love”. When I told my old flame “R” at lunch last week about being divorced, he looked at me and said “You got Married???” And I looked at him and asked him why he put it that way. He said “I never thought you’d get married! You just didn’t let anyone in and you broke it off with me”. I don’t quite remember it that way, but Holy Cow, I put off serious Fuck You vibes in my twenties!

Once married, I worked really hard at trying to stay in love. I stayed in my marriage a lot longer than I should have for two reasons.

1. I truly believe that when you make the commitment for marriage (when you give someone your heart) that it’s forever. You’ve chosen the person that you want to grow old and die with.
2. My Son desperately needed a Dad, a good Dad. He needed a family and stability. There is nothing on this earth that I would not endure to ensure that he got that. My boy deserved those things and he was robbed by decisions made by my sister. I made sure he got it.

I worked really hard to keep the magic alive…the “In Love” part going. I did special things to keep the spark and excitement. It was when the alcohol got in the way of his recognizing those special efforts that it started going downhill.

This time around, I want a man that wants those same things. I want to know that every time I touch him, he thinks it’s the most delicious feeling in the world. I want him to know that I will work at the relationship to keep it exciting, fun, fresh and about us. That I will make him/us a priority so that “we” will last forever. But I need to know that he’ll do the same. I need to know that he’ll be in love with the crazy, warped stuff that I do because I can’t change those things. He has to be in love with all of me.

I’m already so jaded, and the whole forever thing really seems like a fairy tale. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t work to be proven wrong. I guess after hearing R say what he did, I started to grasp the enormity of my angst. I knew I was bad, I just didn’t realize how bad. I have the feeling I was really mean to the men of my younger life and I don’t want to be that person now. So I guess I’m juxtaposed with naiveté and cynicism.

I'm not naive enough to think that there are not going to be times when I want to slap the look right off the face of my partner. There are times when you just do not like the person you're with. I still want to be "In Love" though. I KNOW that my partner will have "What the fuck am I doing here?" moments with me. I'm a challenge! I know how to push buttons and really piss you off! It's due to the upbringing...but if my partner will weather those moments, I will bring back the "In Love" part of the relationship.

That’s ok though. At the rate I’m going, I’ll be a Cradle Robbing single for the rest of my life. I’m not going to be in a relationship unless the person I’m with really wants to work at it and has forever in mind. I also have a lot more to risk now. As horrible as this sounds, because of my marriage, I am now mindful of my retirement and my home and that is what I’m going to need to live on. I would have to be completely gobsmacked in love before I’d even consider risking my financial future. It sucks that I have to think that way, and takes all the magic out of it. But then again…to be “In Love” and stay “In Love”….well, there’s just no telling.  In the meantime...I'm all about fun!

“And I swore to me that I wasn’t going to love again.

The last time was the last time I’d let someone in”

Karma is a Bitch!

So I'm driving home tonight from shopping with K, and I'm coming up to a light.  I'm in the right lane of a 2-lane left turn.  This Bitch in a Mercedes cuts me off from the left lane of the turn to get into my lane.  I had to slam on my breaks and I laid on the horn. Bitch totally ignores me.  The light goes green and we make our turn.  Someone in a Toyota, in the left lane of the turn, totally cuts her off to make a right lane freeway onramp and she slams on her breaks and hits her horn.  It was so fucking funny I start laughing as I realize that Karma just made this bitch her bitch!  She sees me laughing and she's so mad she flips me off.  I start laughing harder.  I mean..Really???  I'm giggling for 3 miles. I just can't wipe the shit-eating grin off my face.  As I pull along side her to make a right turn, I yell out my window "Karma's a bitch" and she just goes off as I laughingly pull away.

My sorry butt was dragging all day.  No hangover, just lack of sleep! Monday night I was stressing about the presentation to Management and last night it was Racer Boy and his sister! I had started off the evening drinking wine and having pizza with R and K. R wanted a shot or two of the Fireball, so I brought that out.  I finished the wine and drank a margarita. Racer was taking too long getting to the house and they had to leave. When Racer arrives, he wants a shot of tequila…so naturally, being the responsible hostess I am, I had to have one too. So it was Patron down. Then we cracked pistachios, drank beer and chatted.  I then made the switch to Fireball.  UGH.  It was a late night.  However, Dizzy always drinks lots of water when she consumes alcohol so she won’t have a hangover the next day…and I didn’t.

 It was a busy day at work also. I despise costing and budget meetings. I don’t know how number crunchers do it on a day in/day out basis.  I did get to strategize with my team, so that’s always good.  My team makes being a project manager easier than people think it is.  People always ask me how I do it, and how they couldn’t stand the job (like me and number crunchers), etc.  I do stuff, but it’s always the team that makes or breaks the project.  They make me look good!  This is why Dizzy will be opening her home next month for a BBQ for the team members. I will not be consuming copious amounts of alcohol because my team is not allowed to see their PM lose control! And that is that!

I heard from my Boy yesterday.  He’s so awesome.  He was frustrated with a conversation he had with his Nana (my mother).  I had to remind him of Einstein’s definition of Insanity, and that he was expecting a different outcome from his Nana that he’s never going to get. I also reminded him of the reasons behind Nana’s behavior, and that cooled his heels.  My boy is feisty and he gets it from his fierce Mom. I even said “You’re taking after your Mother” and he said “What?”  I forgot…He refers to my sister as “Mother” and me as “Mom”.  Poor Kid, I don’t know how he does it, but he handles the whole mess well and I’m extremely proud of him. He made the transition from Nephew to Son quite well, but I am the one constant in his life and he does take after me…good and bad.  I adore him.

I did call back the 32 year old "N" and let him know that I haven't found his tool. I also let him know that I wasn't home, but feel free to come by and look. I told K about it and she said, you know that isn't the reason he wants to come by, and he wants to come by when you're home.  I said that I realized that, but HE'S 32! The age old question...how young is too young? We already covered that topic in a previous blog, but I really didn't realize that I was going to run into this issue as often as I have so far. I really thought my issue would be that I never meet anyone and how do I get out and do that.  No...my issue is frakking Cradle Robbing!  Great.....  And those of you doing the math...I realize he's 8 years older than my boy, so according to my rules, I would be ok.  You know, I don't want to turn into the kind of person that sleeps with just anyone. I'm picky! I have standards, and I'd like to keep those. He does meet all my standards...it's just...never mind! 

The next 5 weeks is going to be crunch time because I'm taking the last two weeks of May off and getting me some beach time.  It may not be Mexico, but I anticipate fun, Tequila, Fireball and the ocean soothing a soul that has had the shit beat out of it the last 6 months.  Even today, I received news of a special person in my life testing positive for cervical cancer. I just broke out crying at my desk (and I fucking hate to cry at work!), but I know that cervical cancer is beatable and chances are good that surgery will take care of everything.  I just wish I was with her, just as I know K wishes the same.  And when the time comes, I will be.  So the ocean can't come soon enough.

I think I'm ending this episode with the following....

One More...

Ugh! Mixing wine with tequila and Fireball on a frakking week nite is never good! Is Dizzy turning into a "playah" like CC and the rest of them? Damn, I hope not! I really want to believe in magic...but something tells me that I will be the magic spinner and and ever the disbeliever.

Addendum

So I was talkin to my BFF and I told her how this 32 year old was crushing on me last Friday night, and that today he called and says he left a drill extension here when he was working (I know, right? How cute is that?).

So she was asking if I was going to call "N" back. And I said I was gonna wait till tomorrow. She asked if I was going to "find his tool" shall we say... And I said that while the thought had occurred to me (he has cute tats), that's a little young. But she was having fun with it. I said it would just be a booty call, and while we were laughing about it...my lucky necklace fell off.

It was the necklace given to me by "CC"...and she started laughing and said it was so funny. Like fate was saying something. WTF?? Ok, so maybe one booty call recognizes the other...I don't freaking know! I do know that I had good luck with management today, so I'm still calling it my lucky necklace. Screw you haters!

Dizzy dancing "Monkey Style"

It was “Dance, Monkey. Dance!” day for Diz. This one had added pressure because I just found out last night that the data we back up increased by 1734.05% in the last 18 months which is a huge impact to the schedule and the future of the equipment and equipment needs. This is the wrong thing to find out when you’re scheduled to dance in front of Management the next morning and report on the status of your $4.5 mil project. I had to put on my good luck necklace, and wear red and high heels, etc. It worked, because they were satisfied with the report that I gave. UGH! I need a stress reliever!

At the same time, we’re trying to plan a get-together for our GA Racer boy, and I have texts and emails flying right and left. Come to find out, it’s all happening at my crib, which means it’ll be a late night tonight (and I didn’t sleep last night due to the update) since he flies out tomorrow. I actually don’t have a problem with it. The house is in decent condition and I can roll. It’s just weird with the ex being part of the same crowd. It’s usually occasions like this where it’s hard for me, although I don’t let on. Because that part of my life is broken. So when people associate me with him, it just reminds me that there is no “happily ever after” for Diz.

The other side of the coin is…how many people can say that they’re still friends with the same party group of their twenties? Wow…it’s really quite amazing that we’ve managed to keep our friendship intact when some of us are scattered to the four winds. That’s where the work comes in. We’re planning a huge reunion this summer (yes, at my crib) and trying to pick a date where everyone can be there is turning out exceedingly difficult. But, it will be so worth it when we’re all together.

Man, we so used to totally tear it up! I was burning a candle at both ends those days. I held down a full time job, partied all night, etc. Sometimes I didn’t get any sleep and only had time to shower, dress and head out to the job. Now, I think about those days and wonder how the hell I did it. I can stay up late these days, but I need recovery time. And a hard night always shows up on my face now. UGH! That’s probably the only thing I don’t like about getting older. I actually like aging. I’m getting better and better with age. I’m in better shape, I’m thinking clearer (usually), I have more of a knowledge base so my decisions are better (shut up peanut gallery!), and I’m no longer obsessed with what the other person is thinking about me. I am what I am, and I can only do me. I am so much more comfortable in my skin, which I think, makes me more attractive….but I’m guessing at that one.

Ah well. I’ll leave you with a pic with my power outfit, but I have to admit…it looks like an all boob pic. God, corporate porn at its lowest form!

There’s no Crying watching Black Hawk Down!!!

Vin busted my ass today. You know how sometimes, when you’re working out, it takes longer to get into the zone? I was more than 15 minutes into the workout before I started getting that liquid feeling, and my muscles started loosening up. I think it may have had to do with the work I did outside in the yard. Who knows! I gutted out the hour though.

On the way into work, I spotted the runner. This guy in his 70’s runs down Auburn Blvd, and waves to practically every car that goes by. I always look forward to seeing him and I’m surprised that he’s out so early and in a good frame of mind. Yes, I waved like a freaking idiot, whether he saw me or not. Gotta pass on the good karma.

Last night, after my dinner and wine, I settled into bed and started watching Black Hawk Down (BHD). I recognized the first 15 minutes of the movie and I can’t remember why it was that I didn’t watch the whole thing. I was blown away by the sheer number of Somali that wanted to rip apart any soldier they found in Mog, when all we were really doing there was to try to keep the people fed. My friend said that “they were definitely the most savage people we encountered”…. I was speechless. It was the bond that our soldiers felt toward one another and how they wouldn’t leave anyone behind. They were relentless in their efforts to reach the downed birds. I cried…damn it! I asked if it was a pretty accurate depiction of events and he said it was. Our military isn’t paid enough for what they do.

I ran into “J” at work today and we chatted for a moment. The idiot gave me a rash of shit for having the tree people work on my yard. He told me it was a “Dr. Phil” moment in my life that I’ve admitted I was overwhelmed by the amount of work and actually had someone do it. He said “two years ago, and you would’ve said ‘Fuck that shit! I’m doing the yard”. Well, after doing that with the house, I’m a little pooped out and I’m two years older. Besides, on a logical standpoint it was the only thing to do…The tree people have the equipment to take out the stumps…I don’t. The yard guy hauled away all the cement, the metal, the ivy, filled in holes and trenches in the yard, etc. It would’ve cost me $500 for a cement dumpster (it would’ve been my third one), and I couldn’t mix the cement with metal or organic material. With him it was $700 for everything, and he did a lot. That’s a no brainer!

I had every intention of making Colin Ferrell (the BowFlex) my bitch tonight, but when I looked at my calendar, I realized I have another happy hour to attend (poor me). It’s funny, but someone called me “Happy Hour Queen” last week, and of course, I over analyzed it. Geez, I need to loosen/lighten up and relax (my old flame said the same thing when we met for lunch. I was taking everything he said to seriously). I was worried that this person would think I had a serious alcohol problem and given that this person had seen me extremely inebriated on multiple occasions, what the hell else would he think. I will admit that the last couple of years, I’ve drank more than I should.

The whole divorce/house/responsibility thing really knocked me on my ass. And then losing my kitty, I really felt alone in my house (although I know in my heart I’m not truly alone). I admit I didn’t do well during the months of November and December for multiple reasons. Once January hit, I set about changing my drinking habits. When MM died in February, I drank myself silly on that day (no matter how much I drank, I couldn’t get drunk enough). But other than that, I’ve been a pretty good girl. So when I go out to happy hour, I do not over indulge because I have to drive home. A couple of drinks with some snack and that’s it for me. I can’t risk losing a license since I’m a single income girl.

However, all bets are off when I’m on vacation and I’m not driving. Although I can promise you…I will not drink as much as I did on my last vacation. I freaking lost my mind!!! I don’t want to be dependent upon another addiction. I ended my marriage due to alcohol addiction, and I had a serious food addiction that I have to monitor every day.

Being single, Happy Hour seems to be the social activity and easy to arrange with my friends. Believe me, it’s not to troll for guys. That’s all I need is to pick up a guy in a bar…when I know he doesn’t truly see me for me. He’s looking to hook up and alcohol has made me look like Cindy Crawford. Yeah…NO! You can get a cheap drink and an appetizer which means I don’t have to prepare dinner, so it an easy thing. No prep work, no cooking, no cleanup, no brainer!

So here we all are at Celia’s. Awesome Mexican food, and you know about my love for tequila. Hey! I did not pick the place (but it sure looks like I did…Ha ha!). This is a group of buddies I used to work and travel with until I transferred to another group and job. We see each other in passing at work, but don’t get to spend any serious time together, so it’s nice when we can do this.

One of the interesting topics was our debate about who gossips more...Men or Women? The men said that women do, and the women said that men are just as bad...although the two guys disagreed.  OMG, one of the advantages of having guy friends is to hear the shit they say about women!  Men think that when we (girls) talk, we talk about all the juicy details of what we did when we were banging the guy, how we did it, etc.  Most chicks do not talk that way. The older we get, the more we don't give a shit, and we do get more descriptive. But the younger we are the more its all romance, and "he took me in his arms" crap.

The men I've known were extremely descriptive.."Dude, this chick gave the best head of my life...first she went down and ....." then it's off to the races where they tell every detail of what made it the best head.  Am I wrong?  Don't misunderstand me....If they are good guy friends, then I don't mind them telling me because a girl never turns her back on some good pointers. It's one of the reasons I love guy friends.  I get the whole male perspective and it's awesome. My girl "R" agrees.

She boxes at the downtown gym and she's considered a "home girl", she does not mess around with the guys at her gym, so the guys are always giving the DL to her and the other guys on their hookups. They are graphic! Even she agrees that most women do not get into the tiny details of hookups. They feel like they're giving too much away.

Don't think I haven't met my boyfriends "friends" and when they meet you, you see in their eyes that they know details about you. Details, I may not want them to know, but am not going to tell my guy not to share. I just act like I don't know.  Thankfully for me, there's usually respect (maybe tinged with a little lust) in their eyes, so I think I'm doing something right.

Ah well, it was a top night.  I'm off to bed, as I need to work off the tortilla chips in the morning...Damn that Vin...  G'nite Peeps!