Honored

I just received a series of texts. S "N"s mother (my Nephew that was adopted and passed away two years ago this coming July) sent me a picture of the homemade tattoo machine he made, since his mother wouldn't let him get a tattoo under the age of 18 (I know my boy is familiar with this rule).

As she said..."his brain was so mechanical and complicated...so sweet and tender".  Sounds like the brothers (her boy and mine) are alike.  My boy is the same way, but so logical, mathematical. He would like to know that his brother was that way, and I'll be sharing that (or this blog...can't decide yet) with him.

I told her that it was funny that she's sharing this with me because I've been seriously mulling over a tattoo that combines all the kids names (there are four) in an armband around my right arm.  It needs to be a tasteful tattoo that can grow old with me.  S said to let her know because she's considering one, and would like to get cut together.  How cool is that?

She also told me that her niece is having a baby in late October and she's naming the baby after my nephew.  I was so touched to hear that....but the highest honor is that I'm getting an invite to the baby shower!!!  The adoptive family is inviting me...an outsider...from the family that gave him up...to the baby shower!!!!  I can't feel any more honored than I do at this moment.

I've missed this kid every day that he was gone, even though I knew he was loved, cherished and being cared for.  And now that he's gone, there's a hole in my heart that will never go away.  But to know that this family understands that and wants to include me in the next generation of their family is so humbling. I know I'm not worthy of it, but I'm so thankful that I have it.

I'm verkempt...going to bed.