Colorful

It's weird how people will give you compliments, and although you can deserve some of them, others come across as sycophantic. I've told you before that I see myself more of a plain Jane that can rock what she has...not as someone who's gorgeous, beautiful (although everyone has beautiful moments), blah blah blah...

The man I'm looking for will love me for me. They will let me be me, do me, just be. The pressure of being a gorgeous woman isn't for me.  I'm just trying to maintain what I have. I worry that when a man lays those compliments on a little thick that I'm going to have to struggle to be that person they perceive...not me. Do you know what I mean? Yes, I can be a good person, but I'm not always good. Yes, I can have a tender heart, but sometimes it's as hard as stone. Yes, I can cry at the injustice in the world, but sometimes I want to cause a war. Yes, at times I can be simple, and yet at others I'm a complex as they come.

I want someone to recognize the juxtaposition that I am and accept the challenge that I will be.  I'm not easy. I'm not gorgeous and beautiful. But I am unique, as we all are. I'm frustrated because while I can take a compliment...when they keep coming, and coming, I get antsy. I don't know how to respond and I just want to scream "look at me!" You're not seeing me, you're looking at the surface and it changes day by day! The man who truly sees me will pay me the right compliment, and I'll know it.

The show is over close the story book

There will be no encore

And all the random hands that I have shook

Well they're reaching for the door

I watch their backs as they leave single file

But you stood stubborn, cheering all the while

I know I can be colorful

I know I can be gray

But I know this loser's living fortunate

Cause I know you will love me either way

Most were being good for goodness sake

But you wouldn't pantomime

You are more beautiful when you awake

Than most are in a lifetime

Through the haze that is my memory well

You stayed for drama though you paid for a comedy

I know I can be colorful

I know I can be gray

But I know this loser's living fortunate

Cause I know you will love me either way

Look ahead as far as you can see

We'll live in drama but we'll die in a comedy

I know I can be colorful...

Colorful by The Verve Pipe