Love

I don't have to tell you that July has been one hell of a rollercoaster month for me....Birthdays, Angel anniversaries, two declarations, presentations, 2 deaths by car accidents, freaky-assed shit, Independence Day and a memorial today. I'm actually looking forward to August! But despite the hurt, the longing and excluding the freaky-assed shit, it all really centered around love.

Love lost, love present, love past, and possibly love future.

The Memorial I attended today was of a man who lived across the street from me when I was in Jr. High and High School. His step daughter was my sister's best friend for years, and his step son was my brother's best friend.  I have stayed in touch with his step daughter and since my sister has hurt her and they're no longer speaking, we're still talking.

She's 9 months into her sobriety now and a couple of nights ago she asked me what I was doing on Sunday.  I told her I planned on attending her Dad's Memorial and she was extremely happy about that.  She was worried about being exposed to all the triggers that drove her to her 12 step program. I told her I had her back, and I'd kick anyone's ass who'd threaten her sobriety.

The minister spoke of the love of her step-fathers life (her mom).  Seems they'd both been married twice before and this was their third marriage. In their "Story" (we all have one), they both were born in Texas, they both moved to Sacramento, they both attended the same Jr. High and High School (but never knew each other) and he would often come into the restaurant where she worked as a waitress.  And they found each other. Apparently, they both ran to Reno for their first two marriages, so it was important to have an actual ceremony before God and friends because they wanted this marriage to last the distance. It did.  It really was a moving story and I just sat there hoping that one day, my story would be as poignant, as moving as theirs.

The minister also said something that rang a bell with me.  He said "Never ruin an apology with an excuse". Wow.  That's one I'll have to remember.  When I apologize, just say it and then shut up. No excuses, no reasons, just give it and mean it. I'm really glad I went, but man...what a way to end July.

Although I just vacationed at the end of May, I really feel like I need another one. July was a 2x4 that smacked me upside the head. The stress of it all has made me bite the inside of my bottom lip raw...bad Diz!!!  I thought I'd broken myself of that bad habit, but I see that I haven't and I'm going to have to start all over again.  So if you see me chewing gum, you know why. Good thing I haven't taken up cigarette smoking or chewing tobacco!

I've got a couple of things to work on in the house, so I'm working a half day tomorrow and the glass people are coming by to measure my custom shower door.  We'll see what happens with that.  I also need to pick out the carpet for my bedroom and they'll come measure also. Being a homeowner means that the work on the house and property is never done. UGH.  But, in the grand scheme of things, I'm pretty lucky and I do love my home.  Sometime's it's a little too quiet and makes me think about getting another kitty...but.

Well Peeps...I appreciate you allowing me to bitch, but 3:15 comes to early and Vin Diesel needs his ass kicked tomorrow.  I don't think I could keep it together without Vin and the Blog. Hoping this blog finds you well and treasuring what you have. G'nite Peeps.