Overwhelmed...

By many things... I'm feeling just a tad overwhelmed. Should I just tick them off one by one?  I'll start with the least and end with the most overwhelming thing...

1.  Work - I'm trying to build a schedule for end to end testing, and I don't know whether or not I'll continue to work this project or if it will be handed off, like management originally said.  I also have to prepare for this presentation for Oracle World.  I'm nervous, but excited.  This is a huge opportunity and the biggest presentation audience I've ever done. All the "what if's" pop into my head.  The only God Send is that Cabo will be a week after, and I'll be needing it.

2.  Work Marine - He's a nice guy, and I'm willing to be his friend, but as long as he works in my facility...that's all we'll be is friends.  The overwhelming part is that he keeps contacting me, messaging, calling, posting and he really needs to slow up a bit. Not sure how to tell him that. He's not in  position to pursue me because he's still married, so why is he doing that?  I don't care that he's separated, he's still married. Dizzy doesn't do married men! But there is a side to him that needs a friend and I recognize that his position is a little precarious.

3.  The Property - Got a knock on the door today and found out that one of my trees dropped into the road and was blocking traffic. Great!  100+ weather and Dizzy pulls up her big girl panties, dons her new Navy Seal hat, shorts, tank, shoes, sunglasses and gloves and sets to work.  I stripped down the branches, broke it into manageable pieces and put them in the green waste. I had to get out the axe because my little chain saw is broken, and cut off enough so that it wasn't out in the road.  It was kinda funny because with every swing I'm grunting and I'm sure the neighbors had a good laugh over that. I had to call the ex, which I hate to do, because I need the bigger chainsaw (he brings it tomorrow).  The two things that bother me about this whole thing is that the property is large, and I need to be able to maintain it on my own. And that I don't like calling the ex for help.  He still believes that there's a chance for us, and there isn't.  I don't like doing anything that would encourage him to think there is.

4.  The Cowboy - I'm on his mind. He doesn't know what I did to him, but he says that I have him. To be honest, I don't know what I did.  The only thing really is that I appreciated him when he was with me. My analytical mind wonders what the hell happened to cause this 180 in him. Did he have a near death experience? Did he wake up on his birthday and decide that he needed to make changes? I know that I need to shut my mind off and stop analyzing and just let go. The thing is...I can't figure out what the hell he did to me.  Why do I still carry him with me wherever I go? No, he's not the perfect man, and I'm not the perfect woman, but there's something...no matter who I'm with or where I go, he's there. It's crazy, it isn't logical, and I shouldn't trust it, but I know where my heart lies. He says he'll stop by here in a couple of weeks on his way to Denver, and will vacation with me in Cabo. 

Anyway, we'll see.  I'm just gonna have to work out harder!  It will help clear my mind, make me stronger for the yard work ahead of me and hopefully tire me out so I'll sleep at night. G'nite peeps!