Needing My Beanster

When I'm feeling conflicted and low, my Beanster always puts me back into perspective. She lights up my life like no other can! The moment she entered my life, just like her brother, I knew that love had just taken on a whole new meaning.

I think I'm antsy because a lot of milestones are coming up...The 4th anniversary of Mom's passing is Monday.  This is the month I took over the renovation of my home 3 years ago.  I've made decisions and choices and my future is undergoing changes.

I've been chanting the Serenity Prayer quite a bit.  For those of you that don't know it....

     Grant me the Serenity
        to accept the things I cannot change
     Courage to change the things I can
        and the wisdom to know the difference

It's always the "wisdom to know the difference" part that gets me. The Analytical part of me feeds the control freak in me and then it's fucking on. Wisdom flies out the window, and I put my machinations into play hoping to change the outcome...  It's a real internal struggle for me to just breathe and let things be. And when I calm down and let it go....my brain starts wondering if I could've changed the outcome.

Yes Peeps....I'm a seriously fucked up person.  So I'm gonna get my head on straight and my priorities right and spend precious time with my Angel!!!