Compliments

So I got up really early this morning because I couldn't sleep.  Just kept watching the damned clock inch its way forward into the future...and it was pissing me off.  I got up, showered and headed to work early.  I had that presentation draft to finish and send off.  What a pain!

But while I was at work, I got a text "This song is for you, 'Good Morning Beautiful'". It's by Steve Holy and it gave me the biggest smile on my face.  I didn't think my smile could get any bigger, but then he texts "Love you to, if your smiling I'm super smiling!  Ok...I was floating.  I didn't reply to the text because I was knee deep in the presentation, but it just made me feel so good!  Everyone coming by my desk could see my goofy-assed love struck grin on my face and kept asking..."Why are you so happy?" Hmmmm.....

Later that day, I think I got one of the coolest compliments of my life.  I told him that "You're better than power tools (they make me hot) and my toy all rolled into one! You're Christmas Baby!!!"  And his response...."If I'm Christmas your... the present I have been waiting for!!! :)" And it's simplicity and beauty just kind of struck me.  I actually started to cry at work.  Not a bad cry, a good one.  I get compliments and most of them are work related (meaning they want me to work harder) or from people who have a crush (but have no chance with me because I work with them, they're married and I found what I wanted) and don't come off with sincerity.  It's like they want something and they already know (because I made it clear) that its never gonna happen..so they compliment to see if it'll work.

I also have a hard time believing compliments because those same people who didn't have a compliment for me when I was fat are now full of compliments...and I couldn't give a rats ass about my supposed beauty...blah blah blah.  The outward stuff is crap, it's fleeting and will be gone in a few years because I'm aging and it is what it is.  It's the inner beauty that I want to strive for and that I battle for every day (I have an inner war waging between the hateful Diz that wants a certain person dead, and the nice Diz that will die for the people she loves). I know who gives the sincere compliments and it's from people who are perfectly aware of my bullshit. When they compliment me...I know it's real.  And that is probably the crux of it.  He called me on my bullshit this past weekend and then spun out this poignant compliment, and it just hit me.

It was really important for me to stay focused because I'm in class tomorrow, and then Thursday, I have plans....It's a surprise for the person on the other end...so I've been really quiet about it because I didn't want the word to get out.  So, if I blog on Thursday, I'll make sure to let you all in on the secret (although some of you know what it is).

Next week, I'll only be in the office one day, and class one day and then I get my new shower door on Friday.  If I'm really lucky, I'll get my birthday wish on Friday too! We shall see. After that, September becomes a blur of activity. Gotta finish writing my speech, Jen's Wedding reception (gotta talk to the Cowboy about that.  Don't want to force him to go or anything...), My Niece's birthday, Kimmmaaayyy's birthday, Denise's birthday, The BBQ honoring the teams, A tea with the Trashies, Oracle World, Alison's retirement party and then....CABO!

Speaking of Cabo...I gotta email my Cabo buddies and find out if they need me to bring anything from the States.  Also have to find out if they've updated their WiFi, or do I still need to bring my router. Yeah, although I speak sketchy Geek, there are just some things I like to make sure of, and one of them is that I'm still connected.  However, 10 of those days will be busy and if I connect or don't connect...well who cares!

Wish me luck my friends.  I really need to knock this speech out of the park. To do so would be a really great thing for my career. I need to be succinct and articulate.  I know this would look great on a resume, and it's not that I'm looking to leave my current career, but you never know what this life will throw at you and "Chance favors the prepared mind".