Lethargic

Yeah, I’m supposed to be training for Tough Mudder, but it seems this week I’m lethargic.  Not sure if it has to do with Jury Duty, the change in the weather, or what. I’m also craving carbs like a mofo. That’s not good either. Generally, I’m a protein eater with fruits and veggies and extremely light on the carbs. 

I think visiting Todd Taylor and eating the pasta got me started last weekend, because now, all I want to eat is pasta.  Ok, pasta and soup.  I am a soup eater in the evenings, because it’s light on my stomach and I sleep better. I tasted some excellent Porcini Mushroom soup downtown this week, and it was the bomb! I’ll have to have some more next week. That also got me into the “comfort food” mode.

Don’t worry folks.  This is where my internal struggle comes in every year for the past 5 years…right before Thanksgiving.  This is there my mind and my body struggle for dominance and it’s a “May the best man win” moment.  And yeah, my mind generally wins.  My body gets its way for about a week or two, but then the terror comes in and helps my mind win out.  Ah…what is the terror you ask?

That I’ll gain back the 120 lbs I’ve lost and be that unhappy, afraid person that I was. Not gonna happen.  So while I may enjoy the extra 5 to 10 lbs this little episode has cost me…my mind will fight back and it’ll be gone before the end of the year.  I am not going back.  I am however, reasonable when it comes to weight fluctuation.  I know many people get twitterpaited over 3 to 5 lbs of weight gain.  I give myself 10 lbs….no more. Then the survival instinct kicks in and I go all out to recover the equilibrium.  Why 10 lbs? Well, I know 3 to 5 of those pounds can be water. If I have too much salt, I’ll retain the water, etc.  Once I get into the 5-10 lbs, I know it’s generally fat.  I just don’t want to be so obsessed with 3 to 5 lbs of weight gain.  I don’t want to live my life by the scale.

This is also why I don’t weigh myself every day.  Only once a week at the same time and naked. No more.  I don’t need to see the day to day change in my weight.  It’ll only lead to doubts and questions. 

On a different note:  I was serenaded by my guy again today.  This time my friend “K” got to hear.  OMG, what a freaking hoot! He always makes up different lyrics and today was no different. When he asked if K had a special guy, I told him that K was married…and he breaks out into the “Lovin You” song…his favorite part being the “dootin do do do”.  We were both snorting with laughter over that one.