REALLY???

Well, I had no idea that the evening would end up so....interesting?  After delivering the goose jerky to my bud "R", I got a call from the Ex (husband, not boyfriend) asking for a favor. Seems his septic tank is out and he has an important doctor appointment tomorrow.  Can he stay the night, use the shower, etc?  I agreed, because we are friends and we're amicable.

I broke the news to the Cowboy about what was going to happen, and went shopping because I'm making dinner for my mother tomorrow. When I got back to the house...he was here.  I cleared off the futon in the spare room and we made the bed together. I then proceeded to heat up some dinner, and received a call from my guy.  Here's the moment of truth...do I take the call in front of the ex, or hide?  We've been divorced for two years and apart for almost 4.  I think it's time...I took the call in front of him and let him listen to most of the conversation. So now he knows I have a boyfriend...and an ex-boyfriend (as that came up in our conversation also). Can he handle it?

My Ex hasn't quite moved on, and he lets me know in subtle ways that he's still in love with me.  I felt like this was the best move to do, no matter how cruel it may seem.  I've been sheltering him for too long and the bottom line is..."You let me go for alcohol...now I've let you go for a future".  I gave him 24 years...I was loyal, faithful, sacrificing, enabling...I took care of everything so no one would know you're a raging alcoholic.  I can't shelter you anymore.  You are not mine to shelter. Even my Cowboy thought I might be a little cruel (that hurt), but at what point do I make it clear to the Ex that I've moved on?  I sheltered him from the last boyfriend.  The Cowboy means a lot more to me...do I shelter him from that too?  What happens if my Cowboy and I decide that this is forever (he did call me his Forever Love), do I suddenly say.."Hey, I've found the one? No.  I can't do it anymore...and maybe, he'll take this and use it to his benefit...to move on, to find someone else, to quit drinking...I don't know. And quite frankly...it's none of my business anymore.

While we're sitting on the sofa watching a movie...the weekend douche calls! Whoa...really???  I must've pissed off the Gods royally!  I didn't take the call and let it go to voicemail.  We'll tackle that shit tomorrow.  I have to get through tonight first.

Ugh...G'nite Peeps.