When You Can't Do Anything

I don't know about  you, but I hate the feeling of being helpless when someone needs you.  Have you been there? Someone is hurting.  They've lost someone they love. And you can't get to them, can't hold them, can't soothe their soul.

I get that I'm not always going to be there, and I can't expect to be, but that doesn't mean that I don't hurt with that person, or feel somewhat inadequate.  Ah well.

Today was a busy day.  I spent 6 hours raking the property and trashing leaves.  UGH!  The day was beautiful, the sun shining, the temp on the cool side, so it wasn't so bad working hard because I didn't overheat.  There's something about the fall, the cool air, the beautiful trees.  I love it.

Wasn't too happy over the 49er loss, and the Seahawks win.  I cracked open some wine for a snack and received a call from the Ex (husband). He was wondering about the storms back east and if my brother was affected. Seems he's up in Tahoe for another evening.  He mentioned how much he loves and misses me and said something about talking with a friend of his about how to treat women, and that he was sorry if he neglected me. It was quite the conversation. I don't want him to feel bad or be sorry.  I just want him to get healthy. It is what it is.

My life is changing every day. I'm not the same person I was when I married him, and I'm not the same person I was when I divorced him. Perhaps things were just meant to be.

Got jury duty tomorrow.  Although I just had a shower, I'm gonna get in the tub and soak off the aches of the day.  G'nite peeps.