A Beautiful NorCal Day!

Can you believe it? We were in the 90's...at the tail end of April! What a spectacular day!  I pulled out my denim mini-skirt, sheer white blouse, flip flops...and headed out into the universe!

I finally bought my BBQ! A Weber Genesis in Espresso color with a side burner...for natural gas!  It will be constructed and delivered Monday, May 6th!  I am so excited!  Grilling brings out the man side of me! I LOVE to grill. And I will grill anything!  But with the briquette grill, it takes too long and during the week, I just don't have the time. I'm not ditching my briquette grill, ya never know when you want that smokey mesquite flavor. I like to kick it old-school, but I also like the convenience of gas.

After that, I headed to the outlets.  I needed the girlie crap since I'm gonna be visible at work...you know, panty hose (the fucking bane of my existence...and should ONLY be used for getting laid!), slips, etc.  I did pick up another pair of Sketcher flip flops. And then...bad Diz found herself in front of the Bose store.  Yeah, I really wanted the home theater stuff, but no...I controlled myself and my tight budget. They did happen to have the portable stereo for iPhone/iPod on sale (It's pre iPhone 5, so older jacks) and my iLuv speakers are blown.  They've been letting in a lot of static. So...yeah, I did pick it up.  I figured that music is my thing (much more than television) and once I do have the house wired, this will stay in my bedroom.  Plus, I love to travel, and this will go with me, and at a great price.  The sound is incredible!  Totally worth it.  And, it comes with a remote...tee hee!

After that, I headed to my Girlie "J"'s crib.  They have a really cool locale in Folsom, with really cool views.  The guys brought all different kinds of beer...I'm talking really obscure ones, and everyone had small glasses to try the beers.  It was really fun.  And....they BBQ'd. OMG, we're talking ribs, brisket, chicken, the works.  All kinds of sides, and some really good Filipino food.  Holy Moly...Dizzy did some serious chowing down, which was good, because I really hadn't eaten since Friday night.  I did a little noshing here and there, but no serious food...not intentionally!  I love food too much to give it up, but I was just busy....you know?

I drove home and noticed that a lot of people were driving with their windows up and air conditioning running.  I had every window down and my hair whipping in the wind.  My only regret of the Durango (which I will rectify with the next vehicle) is no sunroof!  I love the air, wind, elements! This weather was not hot enough for air conditioning...those damned pussies!  God, I just can't describe the vibe, the natural high I get from being behind the wheel of a powerful vehicle, with the windows down, the music playing, my hair flying in all different directions... I AM ALIVE! With this kind of weather, it's a sin to waste it.  This is why I'm looking forward to Oregon. I've got at least 12 hours of driving...with the windows down...the sun shining...my music playing... Death is coming for me my friends, as it comes for all of us. It may be years away, or it may not.  But the past 3 years has taught me not to ignore Death's presence or it's impending arrival.  I have to take each moment and treasure it, and by God, I am!

Which is why I have all the windows open in the house, music playing and a whole fruit margarita in hand to enjoy this exquisitely beautiful evening.  The only thing missing is the right guy, but that's ok. This is why I am taking chances.  This is why I'm willing to lay it all on the line and just let it fly.  Because I WILL not die with regrets. Yes, it's painful. Yes, I will get hurt.  Yes, I anticipate getting fucked over.  But it's better than closing myself off to the world.  I want to die happy. I want to be able to say, "Yeah, I did those things and had a fucking badass time".  I want to set the example for my awesome Niece and show her that only she can limit her life. She can do whatever she wants to do, be who she wants to be, love who she wants to love and make her life as special as she wants it to be.  And I think I'm doing that. Just like I hope I've done for her brother, my Son.

So just know...Yes, I use this blog to bitch and moan, to get out my angst, frustration, hate...but ultimately, I will be ok. I'm a creature continually changing.  I am, at this moment, finally ok with divorce and being single.  I am ok with the ex choosing alcohol over me, because that is his burden to carry...not mine. He does what he has to do, and I'm doing what I have to do.  We obviously were not meant to be together forever.  I hope to find a forever person, but if I don't, I'll be ok with that too.

It's a beautiful NorCal evening! Embrace it with me and step into the unknown!