2:05 A.M.

I know...what the frak am I doing up, right?  Guess I got my second wind.  What a day for Dizzy.  It's actually been a tough week, and so I woke up full of piss and vinegar. I decided that since I was so 'visible' at work, I may as well dress for the part.  So I put on a Blue VS mini skirt with a cotton shirt and my white sketcher sports. I was definitely showing a lot of leg!  I walked through the parking lot with my usual stride (NO...there weren't any pennies around for me to go sliding on...) and headed to my desk.

I had a meeting in the morning and dropped by my friend "J's" desk. I took a seat and he took one look at my skirt and said that it was short enough to see everything underneath. I had my legs crossed and asked him if he could see underneath it, so he leans his head over to take a look.  He says that he can't see anything, to which I replied, "Alright then...shut the fuck up!" No, he isn't the married "J" I work with...He's a forever single guy. I think he only dates married women because he doesn't have to worry about complications.

I had an afternoon meeting that took much longer than I intended. It was productive though.  I ended up trading some texts today and took a leap of faith and exercised some trust. Ohhhh...that's a big one for Dizzy.  Trust... It seems this past year has been about taking risks, doing things I wouldn't do, leaps of faith, etc.  Just flat out understanding that there can be other ways. That maybe things aren't necessarily black and white.

After I got home, I prepped the house for Girls Nite.  "V" couldn't come, but "J" did along with "K". I whipped up some pulled pork street tacos and blended margaritas.  YUM.  K asked about the outfit I was wearing and I told her I wore it to work.  Ha ha...should've seen her face.  I told her about "P"'s comment and she laughed and said that with his eyes he probably couldn't see anything.  I laughed.  I told her about passing on a message to him that he had to mind his Ps and Qs because a certain someone would hate to have to meet him when he comes down here.  I laughed but she made this comment that "the comment would not have gone over well with "R".  She's right. Even though this person had a right to say it, R is my brother from another mother and he feels it's his job to look out for me and protect me.

I started thinking about that.  How lucky to be friends with a guy for so long that you instinctively know that he'll protect you if necessary.  He scrutinizes my dates and always has sound advice (as does his woman). He just flat out looks after me.

We gossiped, we danced, we played games and we started to watch Magic Mike, but I fell asleep (damn, my new couch is really comfy).  "K" woke me up and I got a second wind.  We didn't finish the movie though. We always just have a great time together. I'm really blessed with great friends.  "J" really loves my home and I always love seeing through someone else eyes.

Before I end this blog, I have a confession to make. I've been talking a lot with CC. I've always said I had unfinished business when it comes to him. I just haven't really opened up about our conversations or anything.  Like I said before, I don't know that we'll have a relationship other than friendship. And I know that I can't pin any hope to that or any kind of future....he lives over 600 miles away.  I think I haven't shared it with you for a number of reasons.

I do understand that I need to be true to this blog and to me.  After all, the reason for this blog is not for you to read about my adventures...but to unload the things that cloud up my mind so that I can be clear headed during the day-to-day stuff in my life.  But I have yet to really know and understand what it is that I feel about the past and about him.  So as I figure it out, I'll post things, but I do realize that I'll have to use some discernment.

G'nite Peeps.