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Wow, I hadn't really thought about it. But I wonder about it more and more. What is behind the thought process of Dizzy that she refers to herself this way? Is she harboring some sort of resentment about her 1st person, so she's decided to abdicate her authority to the 3rd? Did the 3rd beat the crap out of the 1st? Maybe Diz has a split personality! One of those personalities is soft, snuggly and sweet, extremely popular with the lads and just flat out "got it goin on"! The other is the mean, heartless, weezer skank out to use up and toss away any man that comes her way.
Is it a She-Woman Man Hating bitch thing? Is it a strike out for independence? Maybe Dizzy doesn't really know what life is like now that she isn't part of the institution of marriage, and while she's discovering the whole thing, she prefers to think of herself outside the box. Really Diz...REALLY??? Were you ever inside the damned box? Uh Oh...I sense an argument brewing between 1st Diz and 3rd Diz. God help us if the 2nd Diz ever shows up and decides to open a can of major Whupass!
Ok, I'm going to try (try being the operative word) and be a little serious here...I don't know why I'm doing this. I think maybe it boils down to my analytical thought process. Maybe its easier to think of myself in the 3rd person so that I can analyze myself objectively as someone else.
Is it possible to analyze yourself objectively? I think so. I believe I’m looking at my naked soul more and more these days, scars and all. I don’t like everything I see, but I like the majority of me. I also have heart-to-hearts with my BFFs and they’re good at setting me straight and helping me be more realistic about things. They keep me in check (especially SKR) and call me out when needed. They also have my back when it comes to the love life (or lack thereof) and are brutally honest if they think something isn’t right, or needs changing.
I think it’s my way of dealing and talking about me. Blogging can be selfish (and I’m not saying being selfish is bad…) because blogging invariably revolves around the writer’s life, perspective, opinions and those who enter the writer’s circle. In my teens and 20’s, I “rarely to never” spoke about myself. My family history is pretty messed up and I was knee deep in the stuff. My way of dealing with it was to bottle it up and not share. But I found myself being an outsider among my friends, extremely critical of others (and myself), and not having an outlet to vent. I was always on the edge of implosion from outside pressures. Lucky for me, my true friends (and I still have them) stuck by my side and basically taught me how to open up. Also lucky for me, was my love of writing letters. I used to write letters to my Grandmother in Alaska all the time. My buddy Hacue has also been a steady recipient of my penmanship (and he puts up with a lot of ranting). I took it to the next level and started writing in journals. Then the Internet age hit and opened up a cornucopia of opportunities to throw the rants out into the universe and see how on target, or really messed up I was/am. And for some reason, it’s easier for me to think and write about myself in the 3rd person. It’s also easier for me to swear and get really vulgar in writing (although enough tequila, and all bets are off!).
While I know some of my audience (I have blog buddies in England, Australia, Tasmania, Arizona, Washington, etc…), I don’t necessarily know all of them. The people I actually send my blog link to are special because I’m going out on a limb and letting them really see me. Not the polished..ok, slightly polished..version that they get at work, or in social situations. They are getting me…and all I can really hope is that they’ll still be with me despite my imperfections and foibles. That at the end of the day, or at the end of my life, these people will be the ones by my side…even if I refer to myself in the 3rd person…and if I have that, I’ll be blessed.
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