So, What Happened to CC?

A couple of people, who have my personal email account, have asked the question..."So, what happened to CC?"

Well, after I left him standing in the freezing rain during hurricane Sandy, on a street corner in new York City...Like the ice-cold bitch princess that I am, and since there's just no getting over me...He decided to swear off educated American women and take Eddie Murphy's advice in Delirious.  He left me a cryptic message about heading to the depths of Africa to find himself a bush woman, or a good ewe.  Just Kidding!

Actually, there's more to this story that I didn't post and I have to post carefully because it's not my right to give up his identity, and there's certain specifics that need to be kept on the DL.

When I met CC, it was something I was not prepared or even planned for, and like I said before...all it took was locking eyes with this guy and I felt as if I had been sucker punched in the solar plexus (that's not really a 'girlie' term...is it?). Before that, I had gotten an ultimatum from my boyfriend that our relationship was all or nothing. I felt that we needed to take our relationship back a few steps and date some more because he really didn't know who I was. He was bothered by the fact that I'm a flirt and that I have fun. I was married for 17 years and during that time, no matter how much I flirted, I was true blue! My ex-husband knew who and what he married and didn't have a problem with it because he KNEW I always stopped when I needed too and I always came home to him! There were other important reasons to break it off too.  I needed time to think about that and the decisions I had made.  I was not looking to hook up with ANYONE!

I know it wasn't something CC had planned for either, because he has a girlfriend at home. And yes, we did discuss our relationships. He was upfront about the fact that his girlfriend was watching his dog, and by that I knew that they lived together, etc.

I like to think that I (or should I say 'we') made the most of the limited time we had and it was a freaking blast. Had I known from the beginning that his sense of humor was as warped as mine is, it may have been a much more dangerous adventure. As it was, it was nice NOT to know what was going to happen from day to day, and better, not to plan my reaction to it.

CC had me thinking on my feet from jump! He's a man that is not afraid to dance, take over a dance floor and not think twice about it. He's very self-assured, intelligent and ruggedly handsome, not in the "model" sense, but in a lived, mature sort of way. I found myself at times reacting extremely hostile to him because I think I wanted to sabotage whatever this feeling was that was drawing me to him. He'd even ask "Why so hostile?" and I'd have to apologize because I could hear myself do it, and not be able to stop myself. Lucky for me, it didn't scare him away.

He handed me his iPhone to program (I'm an avid Mac/iPhone chick) and while messing with it, I included my contact information in the contacts app.  I didn't mention it until the last day.  When it was time to part, I basically said something along the lines of "I put my contact info in your phone. I'm not taking any of your contact info. If this was just a 2 week thing, then walk away and don't contact me. I'll aways treasure our time together in my heart and I'll get over it. If it did mean something more, you can contact me", and I left it at that. I don't know if it was the most spectacularly coolest move I ever made...or if I was being so completely stupid!! It was, however, a leap of faith. I do know that I didn't want to be one of those women who constantly call, email, text and basically hound a guy to death, when he was only engaged in a 2 week booty call. If that's what it was, then I have to let go and just treasure the fun. Within the next 4 hours after we parted, I must've wore out the song "Walk" by the Foo Fighters on my iPod, because it captured the feeling that I had from the whole experience...I was learning to walk again.

After him, there was no way I could go back to the boyfriend. CC had set the bar higher and my mind was crystal clear. So I made sure the boyfriend understood that there was no going back and that my answer to his ultimatum was "I'll take nothing". Don't get me wrong. I still love my ex-boyfriend, and I know that I hurt him horribly. I hurt when I think about the anguish I caused him, but I also know that it just wasn't our time.

So....did CC ever contact me? Will there be a future, or at least contact? Stay tuned until next week when you hear Dizzy say....

Yes, he did contact me. We traded emails for a couple of weeks until the story took a decidedly high school turn (and I'm way too fucking old for HS).  I received an email that said "my girlfriend doesn't want us to talk anymore".  Review of the email, and those before it, left me feeling that it wasn't from him, but his girlfriend, so I left the account alone. Due to circumstances, I ended up sending one last email recently and got an answer back to call him. So we've been talking. He's still in the picture, but he has things on his plate that take precedence, so...we'll see.

Do I think there's a future for us? Like I said before, I don't know, probably not. I have no idea what his take on the entire episode is!  I have no idea what his feelings are, except for what others have passed on to me. As far as I know, I could be to him just what I described I was to those other guys, i.e. he's not used to "my type" aka "conservative, gun toting, crazy, patriotic, outspoken, wicked sense of humor BITCH (January 7th). So, maybe I piqued his interest and he just had to find out for himself...., or maybe I was just a pushy-assed broad that had to get what she wanted, and he just fell in line (I doubt that one though, cuz he really isn't the sort to be pushed around). Maybe it was just the circumstances, i.e. time, place, adventure, weirdo chick with a decent rack...who the fuck knows!!!

But that's not really the point, is it? Funny, I can say that now, but my BFF will tell you what I was ranting about before...and it wasn't pretty.  The point is, I took chances!! I had fun! I stepped totally outside my Jehovah's Witness upbringing and was willing to accept the whole booty-call thing from a complete stranger (let's hope it didn't open the door too wide for that kind of thing....). I was taught a few lessons that I took to heart and I never knew that my "giggling" was a nervous reaction (insider info). I took a leap of faith! And while I don't believe in "happily ever after" I can finally say that I believe in "love at first sight". And if I can be proven wrong on that, then maybe there's a glimmer of hope for "happily ever after" some day...right?

So, now it's time to end this diatribe...after drinking almost a whole bottle of Gewurztraminer with the excellent crab that the ex-husband brought over for dinner (he drank a glass).  No, we're not getting back together, but it's nice that we're still friends, and we can still talk.  I hope I didn't cross any lines with my blog, but if I did, I'm sure the party will let me know, and I may have to pay a penance...hmmmm, that could be a good thing, or a very naughty thing...insert evil chuckle here....